holy sheepshit, no wonder he thinks Flyers are a threat

are you sure you're not thinking of Signs?

“Why can’t my dog sit just outside the restaurant patio?”

Making her parents special doesn’t undo anything

Don’t get me started on my sister, mainly because anything I’d say would somehow get back to her. She is the devil Thoughts & Prayers

Another killer Beastie Boys performance on Letterman:

Barney Miller-style

Does this mean we’ll see a Harry Flashman host? If so, the guests will have nothing to fear from him as hell be cowering in a corner somewhere.

But he’s the President!

look, if I want a corn dog, and I can get it. I’m getting that corn dog. why should this be any different? he wants rebounds let him have the rebounds. the analogy doesn’t fit perfectly I know in the sense that 16 corn dogs is probably better than 16 rebounds, but I think you follow

Now that’s some offensive rebounding!

I mean, “Better Call Sauron” was right there

This man will not shut up or dribble.

You left out the reverse vampires. We’re through the looking glass, people.

“a way to diffuse a situation”

Asked how they felt about their coach’s dismissal, a team spokesperson said, “No woman, no cry.”

Head Coach of the Cavs is, like office intern, a stepping-stone position.

Better communication has obviously been the difference. LeBron yelled defensive instructions to Isaiah Thomas, but the words just seemed to go over his head.