im jealous of people with hair on their heads! id give up my fine leg hair for some fooine head hair!

Since my best friend moved up in tax brackets with her current job, she was flirting with the whole fiscal conservative/social liberal thing. All of us basically told her to stop being an asshole and she snapped out of it.

...and for people who also want to blow you.

Those are sooo dumb. I admit she is a good business woman, and he is a super talented musician but, my god, how dumb can they be? I don’t know if he was dumb from the start or if megalomania got him, but I’m pretty sure she is one of the least educated individual I could cite, and that it is deliberate on her side.

Caitlyn Jenner can go fuck herself.

Nope! I wash the smelly bits and let gravity do the rest.

Gwen Ifill and Judy Woodruff are goddesses. Judy spoke at my college graduation, and I fangirled so hard.

growing up as a white man is a helluva drug

God bless the PBS Newshour, it’s the only evening news broadcast that doesnt want make me feel like smashing my skull to bits.

Gwen Ifill is my co-pilot. I was so hoping she’d be picked to moderate the debates this time around... she & Judy did such a killer job on the Dem debates in the primaries. Alas!

He’s “another choice” in the same way that “repeatedly hit myself in the face” is an option for how to spend my afternoon. I could... but nahhhh.

They say it to cover themselves. If they thought he had a gun, they wouldn’t be talking about breaking the window with a baton.

Of they say it automatically, because that’s how they were taught to react. These are not bright people and they are constantly told that everyone is trying to kill them, all the time. And that, if they thought someone had a gun or was reaching, they wouldn’t get in trouble for shooting “first.”

There are plenty of ways to criticize Farah Abraham, who has a lot to criticize, without slut-shaming her. Same with the Kardashians. Also, there is a huge difference between saying maybe someone shouldn’t release a porno and calling them a superwhore.

Not sure. I’m struggling with that too.

No argument about it. He isn’t funny, these aren’t pranks, and he does assault.

While I consider Gigi Hadid beautiful, she and her friend Kendall Jenner have nothing to do with high fashion.

I know. I like Chrissy Teigen, but sometimes I wish she would just shut the hell up. She’s like that oversharing friend on Facebook. I don’t need to know your every feeling and complaint, Chrissy!!

That’s one of my favorite Hillaries. But I have to say that my absolute favorite Hillary is one that people rarely see, but that I got to experience for a week when I worked with her and her staff. I’ve told this story before on DS/Jez/Gawker (RIP), so I apologize if you’ve heard it before.