You're a fucking sociopath

Dan Savage has been a total piece of shit for a long time 

How are any of those “irrelevant information” when they’re fundamentally tied to the act of having sex with someone? The heart attack one isn’t exactly a great counter-example, since if there’s a known higher-than-average risk that engaging in sexual intercourse could be so strenuous and dangerous as to induce a fatal…

Agreed. It’s fucking terrible advice for both ethical and clinical reasons.

hmm, I have never been on prep. It’s not only that I avoid the medicalisation and pathologisation of healthy human processes, until now, I have only ever had sex with men in a relationship. My ex is the only one I think who woulda been silly enough to cheat on me... and I trusted his instinct for self-preservation. If…

Not to mention your partner who you already know is HIV positive. Is OP’s partner going to feel “too self-conscious” to tell his partners when he tests as having a detectable viral load or when he forgets a pill or two? At the minimum I’d suggest serious couples therapy for this and not just pass it off as being “OK”. 

Yeah I mean I can’t imagine how straight/bi guys are willing and able to fuck cis girls without a condom, trusting that a woman will take her pill as regularly as you need to to avoid surprise babies. Pills are really easy to miss or be just a little off on and bang you’re pregnant. If that surprise baby was actually…

“No one says I’m dating this new boy”

This question is batshit insane. However minute, you have the chance of giving a disease to someone that will require a regimen of expensive medicines to be taken every day for the rest of his life. Because you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend’s precious self-esteem?  Fuck him, and the OP.  It’s selfish assholes like…

Even Prudy would have a fit over Dan’s answer, and would have told the LW to leave the guy. I mean, jeez, you’re keeping your HIV status secret from your serious relationship partner?  What else are you going to keep secret. Deal breaker.

I think the answer to the HIV question was, by a long margin, the worst answer I have ever seen given by Savage Love.

Dan’s advice reduces the third participant to a living sex toy that the main couple can keep in the dark about the risks of being with them, which is pretty despicable.

A lie of omission is still a lie. 

I did not know that, I thought Dan was a serious advice columnist not a Prudy like one who is just in it for the clicks. Kinda disappointed right now.

Imagine this guy flakes out, the letter writer gets HIV and then has to break the “news” to him that she has it.

Yeah very strange advice.

I don’t feel educated enough on the medical aspect to comment on the disclosure part, but I’ll chime in to say that there is some very controlling bullshit going on if you discover something they have not told you for a year and the person says, “I didn’t tell you because my status makes me suicidal!” Even the vague…

If you have any STD, even if the chances of transmission are extremely low, you are morally obligated to disclose it to your sexual partners. Don’t be an asshole

“I don’t think your boyfriend is morally obligated to disclose that he’s HIV-positive to a casual sex partner”

How is the answer to the question “should someone inform a person they’re planning on having sex with of the fact that they have a sexually transmitted disease?” not an unambiguous “Yes, yes of course they should inform that other person, because that other person has the absolute right to make an informed decision…