I grew up in Mobile, DECADES after this, and it doesn’t strike me as 100% unrealistic. Artificial, yes, but not really alternate. As a young person it was my job to know my place and be polite at all times or face severe wrath. I mean, all the girls in my school actually went to “take charm,” which meant things…

12 is so young to get married.

Ugh, anything in the “Not one of those girls” genre can fuck off and die in a fire.

Also Kendall > Kylie 100%

I personally love everything going on today.

I agree with these guys. Not all of us straight guys want to have sex with the Rock. Some of us just want to spend the night cuddling on the couch with him, watching Fried Green Tomatoes, affectionately feeding each other popcorn. So maybe you do need to meet more straight guys.

OMG the piano tattoo thing fills me with a horrific case of secondhand embarrassment

I also circle Negro on my census, and I think there might be a movie here. Two black people, willing to travel back 50 years into Civil-Rights era USA, to meet/hook up with Paul Newman.

i think that kylie needs to be bumped a little farther down for trying too fucking hard

I have no problem noting when another man is a good-looking, but the only man I’ve ever squinted at questioningly was Paul Newman. You ever see Cat on a Hot Tin Roof? He was prettier than Elizabeth Taylor, by some distance.

Dental Abscesses can KILL YOU JESUS CHRIST ITS A SACK OF INFECTED TISSUE IN A BONY ENCLOSED SPACE NEXT TO A WHOLE LOAD OF LARGE ARTERIES

When I was in middle school (MIDDLE SCHOOL!), I helped my older sister and her newborn move from Ohio to Wisconsin. At a rest stop in Illinois, I was trying to put the seat back back up after reclining it to reach into the back seat for something, and it snapped all the way forward and hit me in the face, pretty hard.…

Finally I get to share my story publicly in a setting where people WANT to hear it!!! In December 2014, I started having really massive stomach cramps. I thought perhaps I had eaten something bad, or was PMSing, but these cramps were constant. I couldn’t sleep, I stopped being able to eat. I couldn’t stand up…

I came home to visit my parents one longweekend when I was in college, partly to see a dentist because it had been literally 8 years since the last time I had seen a dentist (this is not the gross part). They were living in the West Loop area of Chicago, and had a dentist that was within about 5 blocks of their house.…

Yeah I think Barry forgets that Mark Shrayber used to work here! God I miss Mark.

I’m taken back to my brief stint as a pitcher. I was in third or fourth grade and had been selected based on the fact that I was one of a few kids who could throw kinda hard more than a few times.

You will regret leaving this one out:

We’ll just push buttons on them, hoping something finally works, much like our vibrators

Smart Appliances: We Cost More and Break in Ways You Can’t Fix Yourself