that fuzzy feeling at 4 p.m. on a Saturday after a long night of partying and a shorter morning of napping, when you’re no longer fucked up but still definitely not right.

I wish every day was the day we found out about Fyre Festival.

i hate that i understand all those words in that order.

I should probably be embarassed to tell this story, but I had a werewolf rpg with my former best friend who was Wiccan and she always insisted on a special rp for all the different moons (which usually involved werewolves banging (pre-alpha/omega, i.e., no mpreg)). Those were the days, my friends.

This festival is the gift that keeps on giving.

My co-workers clean up drug labs as part of their duties, so they’ve been getting training. Pure fentanyl has fatal dose the size of 2 grains of salt, and it can be inhaled as dust or absorbed through the skin. If they were grinding pills - maybe a lot of them, or high dosage/concentrated form? The cops may have been…

Yeah. Unless this was a cook site it makes me wonder too. It would have to be aerosolized in pretty significant amounts I would think.

So it was a drug lab then I’m guessing?

maintaining the horny.

Oh this is very good. An excellent Pissing Contest entry. 

“Gone splat?” He might have been able to pull off the 3rd person, but not with “gone splat.”

I used to work directly across the street from the building I lived in and at the time my partner and I had somehow gotten into the habit of using ridiculous food euphemisms for sex. One day I was at work and got a message that said “If you come home right now, we can have egg salad sandwiches” so I dipped out of a…

What I want to know is who’s the jerk in the cowboy hat who thinks it’s so manly to keep his hat on indoors that he doesn’t know what everyone in Texas knows — that you remove your hat indoors, especially in the presence of the President of the United States: https://truewestmagazine.com/cowboy-hat-etiquette/

Anyone fact check the photo he’s holding yet?

“I just got back and it is a far worse situation than almost anyone would understand, an invasion!”

I burned it from my phone but I once received an exercise in amateur literotica from my brother that was meant for his girlfriend. I texted back "Please, sir, there's been a mistake " and then died inside. 

I was once sexting a guy when I was about 20 when he suddenly replied “...and *insert name* has gone splat. Goodnight” and stopped texting. Yes, he referred to himself in the third person. Yes, that was the last time I engaged in sexting with him.

Not just one daughter, but two daughters. There’s clearly a bonus multiplier for extra daughters when using them as a shield against sexual harassment claims. If he’d had thirty-seven daughters, we’d all have to apologize to him.

Also, I’m kind of inspired, I mean, how old is he? To meet and connect with someone who makes you feel like writing these wonderfully heartfelt clumsy corny things is so hard. The fact that he was still married aside, I’m happy for him?! And impressed with anyone who lets themselves be vulnerable—a hearty clap on…

While “I love you alive” is definitely an odd thing to say, i think ALL sexts in just plain written form are going to be cringeworthy. Whenever you read someone elses sexts its the least sexy thing on the planet, but when you’re alone at night, tipsy, horny, and giddy with anticipation suddenly those sexts are…