If he really wants to teach young directors how to make a film, he should give a bunch a different ones 7 grand each and say, "Go for it" — smile

Didn't you read the article? It's not JUST The Office, it's The Office WITH Snapchat, Donald Trump, Nirvana & Flume. Jeez — smile

Marvin from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is depressed because his entire existence is a waste of his potential — smile

Software upgrades — smile

"In the ass, Bob!" — smile

Popeye was always my favorite comic strip hero because of his hard line stance against rape — smile

I wish Cosby could give me a pill to make me forget Leonard Part 6 — smile

Fuck Brooklyn unironically! — smile

This is a Canadian film from some people I never heard of? I thought this was a Spanish movie from that TimeCrimes dude starring Keri Russell — smile

Where's The Hebrew Hammer when you need him? — smile

It rhymes with grape — smile

"In the ass, Bob!" — smile

You mean "Oriental" food. "Oriental" is the preferred nomenclature when referring to food and "Asian-American" is preferred when referring to people, unless we're talking about Soylent Green (which would have been my entry) — smile

If you brush your teeth with #MDMA, you will ask women to piss on your face then (possibly) die — smile #PSA #Fail

For me the real issues are:
Did he kill the triceratops accidentally while trying to have sex with it?
Did he ejaculate on the corpse to try and revive it? — smile

Robot, my behind! — smile

"I'm not a f*cking humpback whale you idiots!!" — smile

"When I have taught you, you will have nothing to fear from wacky subway molesters." — smile

Not since they had the good sense to dump NBC on Kabletown — smile

In related news, Bruce Willis has been replaced by Evan Handler in the role of Hartigan — smile