The strikers have brought up that ‘bottle girl’ jobs are more likely to be accessible to light-skinned or white girls.

Ew. I brush my teeth first thing in the morning. I hate the taste of morning breath with my juice and whatever I end up eating. And then I brush my teeth again after eating. I floss every night—floss, brush, then mouthwash. My dentist says I’m doing a great job.

She should have started eating it horizontally, like an ear of corn - like Amy Farrah Fowler, because “That’s how good girls eat a banana”.

What, precisely, were you doing at age five? Think about it for a sec. Probably not this.

Show of hands: who now wants to see a picture of this agent?

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

Great news, but let’s see if they’re convicted. Charges make them martyrs for their anti-woman cause; they have to be convicted to send the message that this movement is obviously wrong if people in it have to commit crimes and make up lies to prove their point.

Sean Spicer,

This made me snort. The idea of “oh shit, I’m meeting the Obamas and I haven’t bought a gift. Better stop at the bodega on my way. hmmm...they would like Hot Takis, right? Everyone likes those. Ok, done.”

This is a serious story, no unibrow jokes.

Still not as scary looking as these two

And the media is so unfair oh my god this Rush song has the best drum solo I’ve ever heard Neil Peart is a living god where was I crooked hillary airports.

This sounds like my worst nightmare. Here’s some gluten-free artwork you can at least enjoy.