Stick to sports.

“The Real Woj Bombs are made by the great men and women at Northrop Grumman” 

If I could play devil’s advocate for a moment, I’m glad he’s okay.

on it!

Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man at war with panes. 

One. Maybe as old as four.

I would change it to a plus, but yeah. 

[age of Roger Federer at his death] minus [duration of match]

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you

Translation, if needed:

Yeah because one thing we don’t do enough of around here is call out the NCAA.

*Decisions in my mind*
Lucy Kennedy: Let’s make a salad!
Me: Okay. *get’s up* *Goes to fridge* *opens door*
Marianne Vos: You can order pizza online!

Pete thank you.

It’s actually Dannies DeVito.

Update:

Soon we’ll all be coo-coo for coco gauff

Incel rich kid at the fancy bar insists he didn’t even try to ask out Kate Upton that one time. But probably could’ve gotten her to go home with him.

How fucking terrible are the Knicks if “looking like cheap idiots” is their preferred narrative?

Ya Gotta Bereave!