THERE CAN ONLY BE NONE

the third rate Senator from Connecticut (how is Connecticut doing?)

I mean... the answer is “yes” so I don’t know what point you’re trying to make here.

Literally came down here to post “Thanks to the Trumpettes for looking EXACTLY how we thought they would.”

I stopped standing and reciting the pledge in high school (because that shit is creepy as fuck). Nobody once said a word to me about it in all those years. Guess what color my skin is.

I have worked in journalism for nearly 20 years, across many publications and cities. I’ve had exactly one publisher who wasn’t a total piece of shit.

“Why, we should be honoring black folks who LOVED our country and NEVER critcized it, like Muhammad Ali and Martin Luther King Jr.!”

What about the headline is apocalyptic and what about the body copy is panicky? I don’t see either of those things.

Also, between the hockey and the soccer, Lauren has quickly risen to be my favorite hard-news writer on here. Keep it up!

I actually like Billy as a writer (and his “Messi is God, Ronaldo is Trash” shtick is very entertaining to me), but good god that story length... I usually get about halfway through, and go “Why is this prattling on so fucking long? Oh shit... I opened a Billy article.”

Three Gs for Ovie in OT, But Fangy Fish Flay Braden

Yep! Poor phrasing on my part.

It’s endlessly entertaining to me that these dudes don’t have any clue what Lauren is despite her straight up explaining in that article. They’d be so much more mad if they knew...

I, for one, hope this movie ushers us out of ‘80s nostalgia and into ‘90s nostalgia. I wore that Elastica record OUT.

Republicans are so, so good at this type of self-own:

This is all how I actually feel about it, spoken much more eloquently and accurately, but this is the internet so “HAM IS TRASH AND YOU’RE ALL TRASH FOR LIKING IT” is the proper tenor for the discussion.

A play on the low-fat/no-fat question, I accidentally bought no-salt tortilla chips once and I can’t believe that abomination even exists.

Since nobody else seems to have Megan’s back, let it be known that Easter was always my least favorite holiday meal of the year because it was always ham and ham is trash.

What do English dog breeds have to do with anything?