Oh, yeah, he’s never thought about politics or ideology. Deadspin, brought to you by your local middle school journalism class.

Strong opinion, weakly held.

Super convenient how you align the Rs and the Russians as though you’ve bought the company line. Nice one.

Oooh....good one! Brilliant logic! What a comeback!

You do realize that one of those things is totally and completely not like the other, right? Admit it, you wrote it because you saw it somewhere else once and thought it looked cool.

Who is defending Trump? We’re merely pointing out how entertaining it is that the mere mention of his name makes you wet your little pantaloons.

Not everyone who finds your progressive religious tendencies absurd is a Trump voter. In fact, I bet few of them are.

Ah...how we look to the rest of the world. That’s super, super important because the rest of the world is far more educated and intelligent than the measly old U.S.

Keep fooling yourself, but as a middle-aged adult who has spent considerable time in Europe as an expat, I can tell you that the average European is every…

Keep telling yourself that’s why people voted for Trump. You’ll need to come up with something new after to the second election win, but for now keep keeping it as simple as possible. Sorry...”basic.”

So this is the part where you tell us what should happen now that the event that you said couldn’t happen has happened. Why not just cut your losses and stop blowing wind out your ass?

You are only helping this guy. I wonder when that will become obvious. When you are rooting FOR him, the rest will root against him,…

Umm...okay? Hmm.

Writes an author working for an organization effectively litigated out of business for not knowing what is or isn’t newsworthy.

HamNo is the limburger cheese of topical writers. No matter how long you go between sniffs, you’re never quite prepared for just how awful it smells.

Any chance you want to try a new schtick, HamNo? I think it’s fair to say after so many years of NOT PROGRESSING IN YOUR CAREER at all, that people aren’t much…

Sorry, just getting to this now because of how busy I am running a large NYC office in which the head of HR reports to me (trust me, people do take this shit to HR all the time).

I hope your little moody thing and hurt feelers have passed by now; the last two months proved me right, incidentally. And, someday, when you…

The young people who didn’t turn out did this. They turned out Wednesday night instead of Tuesday night and they lost the election for us by doing so. Sorry to be spreading the truth like this.

Given that you’ve displayed a certain nuance in your response, I feel compelled to adjust the percentages downward slightly. Both likelihoods have a current probability of about 90%.

I apologize that my intellect doesn’t match your expectations; at the same time, I am thrilled that you are going to shut the fuck up now.

You do understand that you just admitted your stupidity, right? You have established for all of us to see that there is a 100% chance that you will say something stupid. Transitively, that would mean that anything and everything you say or write is stupid. If you are under the age of 14, or developmentally disabled in…

Good point; I’m thinking that makes you the personification of contentedness.

The typical knee-jerk “stupid” response from someone able to barely convey a full sentence. Good stuff.

Thinking ignorance a privileged status might just be among the most ignorant things that could be written, no?

Seems as though you may have missed the point. And “you have a better odds of flapping your arms and flying to the Moon than” you do of structuring a sentence that implies intelligence.

Pro tip: when you’re going to get all sarcastic and patronizing, try to make it look like something that’s been written/said by…