Not pictured: The Getty's, The Rothschild's and Colonel Sanders.

No, but I can see how you think that seeing as Mike Shanahan always looks like he has a lemon in his mouth.

Bush looks wasted

Special seating for those who have screwed more Americans than anybody.

Didn't read the description but L-R starting BOTTOM ROW: Tony Romo, hot, stern girl, hand-Bane, Sucked on a lemon, Middle Row: Time-traveling Bill Clinton, Time-Traveling George W, a librarian, a librarian's mistress, TOP ROW: Jason Garrett, blonde, Miss Mullet 2014, Miss Mullet's color coordinating dead date.

Dear Charlie,

Dear Charlie,

But he's filming in landscape.

Everyone knows slave labor is pretty bad. What this comment presupposes is... maybe it isn't.

Oh good, the asshole I ordered showed up. I'm gonna have to call the company, though; they said 30 minutes or it's free.

Believe me, anyone who ever looked at this guy knew.

This is very interesting because normally women who do crossfit, sorry CrossFit, become men, not the other way around.

Also not fair: Dealing with the new Kinja set-up.

It's a tale as old as time.

Jail tip: the whole fucking dick.

What an idiot. Everyone knows when you get a younger girl pregnant, you just take her for a ride on your motorcycle and let gravity do the rest.

"Expected it to be about 12-year-old slaves. Didn't like it." —-Bill Conlin

j. Ten things I think I think about 10 things I hate about you.

h. Saw Human Centipede, then produced my next several columns.

g. Saw Cheech & Chong's Up In Smoke. Then I ate six bags of Doritos by myself.