I think it’s also about leaving baby-mama alone at the time when she most needs the help. And you (figurative you, I’m not assuming that you specifically have done this) can say you’re still going to help, be there, etc. but the feelings run so high that it gets in the way of that, and she’s extra alone at that time.…

The birthday party thing is NUTS. My son is about to turn five, and we’ve never thrown a birthday party. On his birthday we go out and do a fun activity, sometimes with other kids, sometimes just us, then we come home and he opens a couple of presents and we have some cake. When he’s older, if he wants to have a party…

I was born in late ‘87 and the sleepover birthday party was a staple. The only other things people did was bowling, pool parties, movies, or the local theme park in the fall (when it was cheaper). I loved the slumber b-day parties. They should be good enough.

Hey, look, that’s great for you and the other moms who’ve commented similarly. I’m not knocking you or anyone down for having a zoo membership. I’m really not.

I think a lot of the stress comes from parents spending themselves to death for their children.

You got it. A degree of that stuff is good for kids, of course, but this grim focus on producing every minute of their lives, never letting them have a chance to get bored, is just insane. I don’t think it makes for better human beings, either. There is a decided place for the time-honored tradition of just opening…

The birthday party bs is something else. With my oldest son who was born in the 70s, you just took everyone to Chuck E Cheese and called it a day. I know Chuck E Cheese is obnoxious, but you cannot put on an easier birthday party than that. Plus my oldest son was born on New Years Eve, and parents were so thrilled I…

Hey, you do you. My comment was more of a joke than a real criticism.

Yep. We’re fairly free range. We’ve chosen where and how we live to teach our kids age appropriate independence. I’ve had a family member criticize me for getting a sitter for a grown up night out (that she brought her two tiny children to) by saying “well, we actually LIKE our kids”. The fact that I didn’t tell her…

It’s near YOUR house.

I’d guess I had parties every year from maybe 5 to 10-12. But a birthday party was at home, with a cake Mom made from a boxed mix, and a few kids playing pin the tail on the donkey or beating a ping pong table to death. I have a photo of me at 5, absolutely beaming with a smile ear to ear, with six friends standing…

It’s not. You’re missing my point.

dude, if you have a savings account with money in it at all, pay off that credit card debt immediately.

I know right! I suck as a parent SO HARD that we’ve inadvertently trained our kid to think that going to the zoo is a birthday-worthy activity instead of a weekly or monthly affair! We obviously have no business raising a child, but my parents? Took us to the zoo twice. TWICE. Ever!

Oh my god the birthday parties. The Birthday Parties. I could die of all the exhaustion just watching some of these other parents.

Can we add “too judged”? Because parents that try to let their kids fall down and be more feral and learn from their mistakes get arrested now. Somewhere along the line we made imperfect parenting a crime.

You hit the nail on the head with the “lifestyle childhood” bullshit that goes on. I really had to swim against the tide in order not to get caught up in it when my kids were little. Obviously when the kids are tiny and constantly trying to kill themselves, it’s hard to relax and have free time because you do have to…

A. Crappy child/disabled/elder care

May I offer my “head up my ass” opinion as to why?

Yeah a friend of Hae said he did