Since I’ve already been there, I’m gonna say it’s gonna be fine, you’ve got this (and it beats chemo by a mile)! You’ll rock it, and never have to wear a bra again! But buy those nippies things, they’re great. The doctor did fat grafting onto the breast, too, so there was an added bonus of liposuction at the same…

Yes!! Double mastectomy with reconstruction right here! I got the solid silicone ones that they call “gummies”. They’re nice and squishy (like a - fresh - gummy bear, natch), and if they rupture, they won’t leak. Although, they would replace them just so no scar tissue builds up in the ruptured area.

How about that thing that looks like a giant tongue aimed between her legs? Just throwing it out there.

You forgot Raw! In a salad! With a lemon/dijon vinaigrette! Crap, now I need to go make some sprouts. Thanks, Pinkham.

Thanks! I knew there would be a reasonable response to my freak out, but I’m having a hard time getting past the “I can’t let any poisons near my body” phase of my recovery. Because I don’t want to do that shit again.

Thanks! I knew there would be a reasonable response to my freak out, but I’m having a hard time getting past the “I…

Tell me if I’m bananas. I love the flip belt idea, but after having a double mastectomy for breast cancer, I’m a little freaked out about having my cellphone cuddle with my ovaries while I’m running. I’m not ready for those things to be yanked out of me, too.

Tell me if I’m bananas. I love the flip belt idea, but after having a double mastectomy for breast cancer, I’m a…

I wish I could say it was the tampon "business" that made me gag. Unfortunately, it was the horrid writing. What the ever-loving hell is that?

Then I have the website for you! It's like crack cocaine for Emily Post. http://weddinghellsbells.com

Is it wrong that I've parlayed these extreme close ups and selfies into an art project (really, a Social Print instagram poster) to be sold at our school's annual benefit? I find them hilarious, and am hoping I can scam another first grade parent into bidding some scratch on that shit.

You posted this link a while back and it was helpful. I've definitely been hitting my goal a lot more often over the last few months. Thanks, dude!

I wish I was still at the fancy wrapping paper stage of my life, I used to be so "crafty" but then had two rug rats. I still covet it from afar, but now I buy gift bags in bulk on Amazon instead.

Seriously, this is my husband's response to me every time it happens. At least he says it with a sense of humor. As he says, he's "laughing with me." I have no idea where these damn dreams come from. And I have never, not once, thought about cheating in 14 years together. So freaking weird.

My god. This happens to me all the time. Except he's cheating on me. Literally, once or twice a week. So now when I wake up in a grumpy mood, he's all, "what'd I do this time?"

Word. I keep trying to come up with a joke about the whole thing being so heavy-handed, but can't think of anything. Somebody should get on that...

Dude, this is my favorite word. So much so, that my kids get pissed at me for calling them "Dude" rather than by their names. I know, what's their problem?!

I made my son wear the same christening gown that his sister wore. I'm crossing my fingers for that same reaction!

Oh, sweet baby Jesus, NO! Every time I drive through Wasilla and pass Lake Lucille where their house is, I flip the bird. I'm always afraid I'm going to run into one of them at the Target there, and then I might have to punch them.

Actually, you're pretty close. I just appraised a big apartment building full of studios that rent for $1,650 a month in the Tenderloin. Makes me want to go back in time and never, never, never move out of my Mission/Valencia four-bedroom flat for $2,800 a month.

This is perfect. I lost my dad recently to cancer, and got a ton of "let me knows..." The last thing I wanted to think about was having to call them back and ask for the help. Even if people had offered, it still felt like I was burdening them. Not rational, I know, but that's how it felt.