From my waitressing experience, it's because it's very likely most people own a bunch of black clothes already, so no-one has to go out and buy new clothes specifically.

I have Rudolph's nose while he's not using it in December. Any red clothing makes it glow even more so.

Whereas I have to have short nails to play or it's impossible for me. The frets! How do you manage with nails - wizardry?

Like in The Linguini Incident! Bras with spring-loaded knives.

THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND. He never mentions me to anyone. When I meet any of his friends for the first time, they at some point go 'oh! are you guys dating?' when they pick up on our body language together.

I look forward to the tortoise's myriad of Victorian disguises. Top hat, blind man's cane, Chinese pigtail/queue...

I read this tired and I thought your caveat was 'must have a great neck-beard'.

Right? It's like she's using some mad tv aerial.

I think I'm okay with giant snails because I feel like they wouldn't make any sudden moves.

Ooooh, or a modern day fairytale romance: Snow White and the Investment Banker. In my head it's like Enchanted meets American Psycho.

Small, heavy objects left on top to weight them down. Seriously. My parents' shelves were full of knick-knacky things.

Oh, I'm from Australia. Once I house-sat my parents' place for 3 months and when my they came back, there were huntsmans under chinese food containers all over the house. I was too scared to do the card thing so I just kind of left them there until a proper adult came back to deal with them for me.

Giant spiders make me weep real tears in fear.

'I know a woman who doesn't think that therefore all other people are wrong!'

I have a BA in Indonesian. I moved to the UK and people in job interviews are always '...how quaint! Why?' like it's not the language of the 4th biggest population on the planet. Indonesia is still a mystery to most people here.

YES! Look at her, oozing sauce smokily. Smoke saucily.

Fo shiz. Bette Davis is my smoking idol.

Ha!

It rained while I was at work in central London during the ceremony, but maybe Stratford was far enough away to not have the same rain!

They do nothing for me! But I'm an arms/shoulders/back kinda gal. That little dip below the deltoids FLOORS me.