I have looked into them but am yet to find one that fits my schedule and budget. But I will!

This last New Year's Eve in London at the fireworks (surrounded by families, kids, old people, everyone), I got consecutively groped by two strangers as I was walking past. Bold as fucking brass. When I managed to find my friends in the crowd again, their response was along the lines of 'oh, really? well they're gone…

I know it's old but: [www.seattlepi.com] says "There has apparently been no surge in pregnancies. The Pentagon refuses to release comprehensive statistics, but it's fairly certain that if there were an epidemic of "Get Me Out of Here" pregnancies, somebody would have leaked it."

Well, I am vocal about the kinds of sexts I want from my man - naked photos, please. And he flat out refuses! What's a girl to do?

You need to find yourself a Sugar Mummy who'll buy shower you with ancient Egyptian jewellery.

I always find myself way more attracted to ancient jewellery. Modern pieces do not register on my interest radar, but I get seven different kinds of materialistic in museums.

Seriously, what is with wasps?! No matter how clear the instructions are that I give them, they simply canNOT find the large open space to freedom.

I read that as "He could sign my Bronson!" and thought 'huh, that IS an apt name for ladyparts'.

Grapes of Dub! I would watch that. Where would the drop be?

Where were you when I was dating an alcoholic type 1 diabetic?! I had so many questions and no answers (except his, which were 'yeah it's fine to only inject occasionally and balance out the rest with alcohol, quit mothering me').

True! We can be sure of it if they all road bicycles there.

I CAN FEEL THEM CRAWLING UP MY LEGS.

My cat used to happily play with huntsman spiders. My parents' house is full of them. My cat was brown, the spiders were brown, I couldn't tell what he was bringing me until it was TOO LATE. Ain't nothing scarier than a cat with a mouthful of spider, with the hairy legs all hanging out like some sort of demon cthulhu…

That picture is making my eyes water in fear. Goddamn.

I can't stop laughing at this.

Ha! Dammit, now I miss red hair.

My dad calls me 'sweetie'. When anyone else calls me it, I projectile vomit in my mind on their face.

Right, and everyone knows cave paintings are really cave pinnings.

Same! I used to dye my hair a coppery auburn throughout high school. Once I went a month without re-dying and for the first time ever people saw regrowth. One friend felt so lied to she slapped me?! I couldn't believe people ACTUALLY thought I had flawless copper-coloured hair naturally.

After trying it myself at home with 40 vol (patchy job coz I can't see the back of my head, plus 40 vol fried my scalp and hair to smithereens), the next two times I wanted to go from box black to blonde in one sitting I went to a hairdresser. They used a really gentle bleach, probably only 10-20 vol, but left it in…