My second year of living in NY and I finally had a proper kitchen (a 2 bedroom at Houston and D for $750/month....ha!), so I decided to make my own turkey for thanksgiving. I didn’t say it was a good kitchen. I got food poisoning from the turkey, but I didn’t find out until work the next day. I was feeling queasy…

OK, well last time I was in America, I became severely constipated - mainly because the stall walls are so high in public toilets that my bowel refused to budge. I could not poop, not matter how much I wanted to and tried, because I felt like I was completely on display - whenever I sat down, you could pretty much…

I spent six months living at home with my folks between grad degrees and got myself into quite a high-protein diet (loads of protein shakes from the gym where I worked) mixed with lots of running. Turns out this isn’t the best idea for most digestive systems. I was about three miles into a run one day when all of a…

Let me just say that when my Crohn’s disease wasn’t under control I could literally MacGyver poop anywhere.

Years ago I began dating a regular of the bar I tended. A couple weeks into the relationship he got entirely too tanked, so I had one of the cocktail waitresses bring him to my house and gave her the garage door opener to let him in assuming I had a key to the front door. A few hours go by, I close down the bar,…

When I was in my 20s, I managed a restaurant. Once in a while I would stay super late after closing (to catch up on inventory, scheduling, etc), then walk home alone at around 3:00 am. On one such occasion, about two minutes into my five minute journey, my stomach began to BOIL. I quickened my pace & clenched my ass…

Ok this is my husband’s story:

I am not the pooper in this story. I am the poopee.

When I was 16, my BFF was the funniest person I’d ever met, and to this day no one has ever been able to make me lose my shit as much as her - sometimes she would say things that would literally make me piss myself.

I went to brunch a few weeks ago with 2 friends. We started sharing embarrassing shit stories with each other - and the one that stood out to me goes like this: my friend had just gotten serious with her boyfriend, and they decided to take a trip together to San Francisco. After a busy day of sightseeing and shopping,…

Damnit! I have a great story but I’m probably too late... oh well, here goes. Anyone who knows me knows this story because I love telling it. A few years ago I was living in DC and my good friend and I always went to this shitty Mexican restaurant together. I never had any stomach issues until the last time I went…

I have ulcerative colitis so I unfortunately have a few stories like this . My most memorable incident was a few months ago. My girlfriend and I were in the Catskills and I wanted to bring our car into the mechanic to have a few things checked out. my plan was simple. Wake-up early, grab some food, head to the…

I left the home of my girlfriend-at-the-time one evening, my tummy feeling a little upset.

Camping with some friends & this girl I liked was a “plus one” w/ my buddy’s girlfriend. We had a class together at FSU & I’d laid significant ground work all semester. You guys, I was ready for this weekend. Everyone knew I was gunning (I’d been single for a while). Lots of pressure & the group was openly joking…

This is a poop story.

“Puking Into Cups” - a story of my finest moment.

I had to get three of my wisdom teeth removed, and was put under for the operation. When I woke up, the dentist gave me a prescription for some painkillers, and my buddy came to drive me to the local Wal-Mart to get the prescription filled (this was in rural Georgia, there were no other pharmacies in town.) I give the…

I have a story! That will totally dox me if anyone I know is on here but anyway...

I was 22 years old at the time, and I had a new boyfriend. His name rhymed with “scat,” so let’s call him that. Scat and I ventured out to the Chicago suburbs one weekend – his hometown of Huntley, Illinois – for a weekend where I could meet his parents and some of his old friends.

The last night of a summer study abroad program in England, I got absolutely smashed. I woke up still a little tipsy, and definitely not feeling great. Running late for what would be a full day of travel in coach back to the U.S., I couldn’t even shower and barely had time to throw the last of my stuff into my…