I wonder what it’s like for real money to be monopoly money to you. It just must be an entirely different sort of world and thinking.

I had a Kim. She was the source of much anxiety and fear in my life, and whatever nice things she happened to do ended up just her being a CRAZY manipulative TERROR.

You shouldn’t be afraid of your friends.

Am I the only one who fuckin HATED Kim, no matter how ‘nice’ she was to Lindsay at any random second?

@Zach Braff Yes. It was so very, very her.

What's with the insultbrag.

They want to be basic. That is the point. They haven’t even transcended it; it’s on purpose. Everyone is basic; let’s be basic together, ladies!!!11!! We look so beautiful!!!!111!!! :):):):):)

no am just socially aware and devastatingly clever

No, I mean the naked vanity. They give absolutely zero fucks that they look basic as fuck, and not fretting about seeming basic is itself antithetical to the insecurity/preoccupation with self-image that is integral to basic-ness; so, despite their appearances and behaviour. they have transcended being basic. For that…

Prom on my junior year seemed to be the last year guys had to get a tux shirt that matched their date’s dress. I wore a dove gray tux with a lavender “ruffle” tux shirt. Oh yeah, Boss. Senior year everyone was in black and white. It was on the Queen Mary, which was pretty cool.

Or you can accept the fact that some people have varying levels of acceptability when it comes to their individual personal space. While sexual assualt is inappropriate. It’s up to the individual being touched to determine if it is in fact inappropriate. Would a dude have gotten away with that, hell no. He would have…

That Teenage dream part, where she is acting like a teenager, then shooting whipped cream out of her breasts...over exaggerated simulations about a fictional persona, as an adult...gross.

My husband, for some reason, inadvertently stalks Ice T. It’s very strange, and it’s been going on for years, starting about three weeks after we moved to NYC—the husband ran smack into a velour-tracksuited Ice walking along Broadway. After that, at least once every few months, the husband has another encounter with…

But he has to return to his home planet and reclaim his rightful place after regaining his true form...

Wow. Thank you Mindy!! I really think I want to read Fast Girl.

I’ve been saying it for years. If republicans actually bothered to pay attention to what he said, they’d realize they hate Jesus. He IS a communist who hates people who make money off of their faith. He also says prayer and faith should be a very private thing and that no one else should know about your faith. All he…

—I believe Jesus is a capitalist.—

Maaaan the truth you’re speaking might be too much for these parts.

I’m glad the racist fuck used the word “settled”. With the number of people who reflexively roll their eyes when someone suggests gentrification is a bad thing, it’s a breath of fucking fresh air when a white person temporarily drops the facade and actually says what they mean to say minus the dog whistles. I settled…