IF, for some reason, this happens to be true (it is not), then their manager fucking sucks. 

Shout to Scottie for piping BOTH Cheryl and Kim 

Did you never use the internet pre-2009?

I bought a packet of this for my wife and dared her to eat it.

I thought that was an orgasm emoji (shrug emoji)

This means A-Rod eats the butt

Charlotte Hornets.

Also, he just completely disappeared for like 2 days when he was on the Knicks. Just...ghost. NOT SUSPICIOUS. Oh and his shoes suck. 

SHUT THE FUCK UP AND MAKE GOLDEN SUN FOR THE SWITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP

Oh my GOD shut the fuck up you look like a deeply unbalanced person as an adult wearing a costume. 

Butler boinked his girl, no?

This is true. 

I hope you get a good laugh at all the people who are pussyaching that you triggered them. Fuck them. Stay strong.

“Please censor your scary stories so that I don’t get scared :<”

GOD that story is so corny.Totally killed the mood.

I like these stories that people make up and say happened to them. 

Fucking breeders

SEEMS LIKE A REALLY FUCKING GREAT PET
TOTALLY NORMAL
SUCH A FUN TIME

I’d tell you to imagine a world where everything was made specially for you and you alone, but clearly you’re so far up your own ass you’re incapable of even conceptualizing an exit strategy.