“All this time you thought you were swinging for the fences, Sandy. But you were swinging at me! [Exit stage left, weeping]” 

What a great business guy. Oh for fuck’s sake, WHY am I gray again THIS TIME?

“No cops I know what I have”

Booooooo

For me, it’s someone at Kotaku. So, that one’s for life.

I point-blank refuse to fantasize about smelling children.

prolly despair

Wait until you trigger a writer on one of these blogs by pointing out something they’re embarrassed about writing and then they ban every account you make. That one’s even funner!

“Aww Marge, one squirt and you’re south of the border!”

We still don’t really know what, precisely, Kanye meant when he said slavery “sounds like a choice” on TMZ,

Something something needles something something

Porsche: K, man.

He never wrote back :< I don’t think I got the job.

(Do I act like I don’t get the reference or do I act like I didn’t type that and delete it five times...gotta play it cool)

You...don’t want that. Remember how bad F4 is? The new TES will be far, far worse.

Heard you were talkin shit

Consider The Throbster

That divorce is already a long time coming.

Holy shit you’re right. I AM old.