I can’t decide if you are very young or just very weird.

I’ve been getting some mileage out of this:

I completely disagree. FIGHT ME.

I didn’t realize your 3 and 5 year old were personally responsible for the state of the world but if you really feel like ruining their Christmas instead of doing anything proactive like, oh, I don’t know, contacting your senator or volunteering with an organization that’s actively affected by the state of things,…

“You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse! Martha Graham! Martha Graham! Madonna, Madonna! But you keep it all inside”.

This is what happens when you feed delusion.

Counterpoint that shit ain’t real. TILDA IS VERY MUCH REAL.

Me, to President Obama:

He should have thought about that before throwing all his weight behind the misogynistic racist rotten cheeto in a failed bid to stay relevant post-Bridgegate.

Best part of this is you KNOW Chris Christie is weeping in the shower somewhere.

Fuck yeah!

I think it’s awesome that Durianrider cannot reproduce and Freelee has no desire to. The buck stops with them. I can’t think of a better outcome.

Cubs fans: Please look at Red Sox fans post-2004 as a cautionary tale for how not to act if you don’t want everyone hating you and your team.

Can we get a ruling on “totes McGotes?”

Tea Kettle... Tea kettle?

Was it North?

Since i don;t really know who Justin Theroux is, whenever he’s in a headline I think Justin Trudeau.

I feel like this and lots of other takes on the skit are missing the point. Lots of discussion about the silliness, but no talk of the actual punchline...