+1 hilariously out-of-place Heisman in Ratner

“Hello Curt Schilling, this is the director of the Hall of Fame, and ahhh, yup. You got in. Congrats buddy. Now we’re going to need to get you to a promotional event. It’s going to be at 5037 Connecticut Avenue, Washi...Oh, you know the address. Cool, also remember to eat my ass Baba Booey, Baba Booey”

I was broken hearted when I went to check up on my old farm a while back. It was apparently seized by the government and sold off. Don’t even get me started on my Mafia Wars crew.

Jesus, I give up. You are too dumb.

So you’re dumb as well as racist. Good combo, Cletus.

“Jumbo Shrimp” is one of those phrases, what are they called again? You know, like “Blake Bortles- NFL Quarterback.”

I have no issues with the DUI threshold coming down. I have severe issues with two of their proposals not mentioned above:

It sounds like someone tried to explain to him that the border patrol prefers the bollard fence style common on the border over the “old helicopter mats left over from Vietnam” kind and he got confused.

North Korea... now they know how to do a southern border!

My dad was diagnosed with Primary Progressive MS when he was 30. When he was 61 and diagnosed with lung cancer, he told my mom in a way he was relieved. He’d spent the last 15 years of his life barely able to get from his wheelchair to the armchair where he spent 90% of his time. If he could have ended his life…

This could also go a long way to helping with assisted death. The US is behind with respect to assisted death, however, in countries like Canada it is fully legal. Not everyone wants to spend the remainder of their life lying in a bed and this could go a long way to providing them an accurate snapshot for when the…

I think it is a typical case where use of the term “artificial intelligence” (which is sketchy to this day anyway) is not warranted at all.

The graphic designer still cranking out solid content on an Apple II GS, I guess?

Mike Pence, what are you doing on Deadspin? Get off the computer before Karen catches you!

That is a dolphin with poorpoise.

Shit, you think you’re smart, you follow all the sites, you read all the important news and then you find out you’ve been wrong about Jay Cutler’s nickname all along

I don’t want to grow up. I’m a Toys R In Their Original Packaging kid.

No. By definition, nepotism restricts opportunities for people that aren’t related to coaches. Race has nothing to do with it.

The judges will also accept that answer.