I wish someone would have asked me that back when I donned the green apron. Knowing me, I would have said something like “You want the marker, you have to wear the apron” while handing them my apron, duty roster, and telling them to go check the restrooms. There’s few days that I remember crying tears of joy, my last…

SEE THIS? IT MEANS NOT. WELCOME.

fuck you.

I assumed they all died from coke overdoses in the 80's.

Ok, I know we're talking about other adorable people right now but I fucking love her. I'm like, 100 years old, and I just want to hang out with her. I'm not quite adultosaur levels (but who is, really) but I feel like I'm getting there.

Topically irrelevant: when I was in the hospital and on a high dose of steroids, I started hallucinating and thought my IV machine was saying "gulag" over and over.

"When I get up on the cross after I get caught using racial slurs, I'm gonna look like THIS!"

You get the idea.

In Boston, we're doubly fucked because on Friday nights Jeopardy is bumped from its 7:30pm start time to 1:30 or 2:00am so viewers can enjoy "Patriots Preview;" apparently 30 minutes of analyses of Bill Bellicheck's blank stares, plus a big circle-jerk between the local broadcast journalists and former Patriots…

I love the shit out of you for your perfect Georgia Nicholson reference. She was like Bridget Jones but with funnier sequels.

This sounds like grownup Georgia Nicolson and I love it.

Excellent. The guy wearing the Boys & Girls Clubs shirt is serving a 5 year prison sentence for child pornography. 5 year is not long enough.

It really is an age old problem.

dont bother its a dude posing as a girl trying to shitstir

It's like when you're drunk and go to sing a favorite song in karioki only to find you really don't know the all of the words.

Methopause.

So does her "channel" just consist of a camcorder in a room of her house where she keeps the nice furniture that no one's allowed to sit on?

Hard-boiled Egg Harbor detective looks to crack case.

This week, I've wanted to fuck every attractive dude I've come in contact with. I'm always about 10000000x hornier right before my period (I've got a Mirena IUD, so I don't really get a period, but I get pangs and twinges every four weeks that let me know I would be otherwise). This has been true of me since forever,…