I would definitely buy this “rock” if the SKU description would read as follows:

Oh man, our house was littered with bodice rippers when I was growing up. I read sooo many of them at a VERY young age, lol. My mom says that once she was walking by my room, and saw that I had set my dolls up all around me for story time. I was earnestly reading a line like, “And then he grabbed her and pushed her…

Kindly read the 4,000+ word history I just spent months writing explaining why that is a gross oversimplification before you comment.

Does it have an open floor plan and room in the bathroom for double vanities and a soaking tub? I can see real potential there, if you paint all the walls white and put in a barn door as a rustic focus point, but double vanities are really a must have.

I would buy this if only to do THE GREATEST BEAUTY AND THE BEAST COSPLAY OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!

while the lure of an astral projecting au pair is remarkably tempting, the single full bath (true!) and the only broadband choice being DSL makes it a no-go for this home shopper.

Crash taught young me never to trust white people’s recommendations on movies about race.

I’ve had to explain this to dim-witted cousins and aunts far too many times but it never sticks. The White Man’s Burden of the 21st century is dealing with our shitty, backward ass relations.

I’m glad it works for you! I spent a solid 45 seconds glaring angrily around my desk before I came up with any analogy that made sense and wasn’t just me saying “this is stupid, you’re stupid.”

I logically know that it is exceedingly unlikely that this recount effort will change the results of the election, but I’m still in the denial phase of my grief and I can’t help but hope.

Eh I still don’t like Jill Stein, but I like what she’s doing. (See also: Kanye & his music, Tom Brady & his playing quarterback, etc.)

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’re already having a Constitutional crisis. We have a Senate that has refused to act on a Supreme Court vacancy, we have a president-elect who may or may not have won the election fair-and-square, but most definitely lost the popular vote by at least 2.5 million votes, and…

“These people believe this country is a democracy. It’s not,” Carreras, the dapper Wall Streeter and failed politician, said, referring to the Green Party and its allies. “It’s a constitutional republic.”

Hi. Before we go any further, I want this to be clear. I’m half-white and half-black. So if you somehow think this is about me trying to excuse white people because I am one, you’re half-right and half-wrong. (A little biracial humor for you there.)

The problems of which you speak have been problems in the cities. I don’t know who you’re talking to but there are plenty of people in the cities who are suffering. The difference seems to be that for some reason the discussion about suffering in rural areas are talked about as though the people there are not at fault…

I was going to say, it’s a great thing Donald Trump can’t read because he’d think that book was filled with great ideas (mostly the idea of getting an extra pussy to grab).

So much better than a dick in a box. Box is already included!

The man in my life is getting these for Christmas. Hopefully he doesn’t pee on the tree again this year.

my pussy is enough of a gift, tbh

Dear God, please let there be gay porn in his emails. Gay porn he stars in.