Why are women so bad at parking?

OMG brilliant dirty dad joke!

If he’s the one who’s speechless, he’s using it wrong.

At least the baseboard matches the crown molding, if you know what I’m saying.

If you want kids, have kids. You cannot possibly be Mother of the Year for every single aspect of parenthood and you have no idea how you will react physically and mentally after you have a baby—or how that baby will react physically and mentally to all of your grand plans.

This comment thread is a microcosm of the…

a scary man with a straw head attachment

I once met a guy while we both complained about the slow elevator in our building. By the time the slow elevator had gotten us to our floor, we had exchanged numbers. There’s no fantastical ending, we dated for a few weeks and had some fun, but that complaining did start something positive.

“It helps me surrender to the flow,” he told me. “It gives me patience! Patience is the most important thing when raising kids.”

I pretty much hate playing with my kids. Creative play makes me tired, like the author, and they pretty much just boss me around the whole time anyway. The only things I can really enjoy with them (playing-wise) are building things and art stuff and I am good with the chasing/tickling. Other than that, count me out.…

Haha. DUH! This is why I'm the favorite aunt, people. I'm the fun one!

I get it. We’re planning on “trying” to have a kid this year and honestly, the idea of having to spend so much time doing mindless shit is so scary. I’m really wondering if my already big love for alcohol is going to get out of control once that child is here.

This is the downside of DARE. Not all drugs are exactly as bad as all other drugs.

I’m the same as you, and I have three kids. I focus on the shit I’m good at which is organising things, homework, dealing with teachers, sorting out the extra-curriculars. I’m not good at playing in the floor and that kind of shit. So I don’t do it. My husband does it or they do it themselves. This playing with your…

if you think patience is the most important thing when raising kids but you have to get high to be patient then MAYBE you shouldn’t have kids.

Having been raised by two alcoholics, I can tell you right now I would have much preferred stoned parents than angry, sloppy, rageful, incoherent drunk parents.

hot take:

But I think the guy handing this out at your library lives in Crazytown.

Look, babies are a renewable resource, but small businesses are an endangered species. Won't anybody think of the entrepreneurs?!

That’s nice, dear.