Trust me, CPS is not interested if you are slightly drunk around your children sometimes. CPS and our foster care system are already overloaded with actual cases of parental neglect.

I would LOVE to see a “How does he do it?!” article all about how he manages to keep up with his busy work schedule and look so great doing it. Maybe next to a “10 must-know sex tricks to keep your woman happy in bed” article.

I certainly couldn’t recognize her, even after being told it’s her.

I didn’t read it that way. He didn’t say “If I’m not high af I can barely keep from smacking my kids around because I’m not patient enough.” Sometimes kids are boring and annoying and why turn down something that can make you a better parent?

There are a lot of people who live in Crazytown and commute into Portland.

Hm. We’re in the process of deciding whether or not to have kids, and part of the equation is that I’m very time focused, high-productivity, and high-anxiety. While I think I’d be 100% mom-of-the-year when it came to healthy meals, getting to school on time, chairing the PTA, going to story hour at the library and…

I guess it depends on your situation. If I were still in my early 20s, single, and eating shitty cheap food every night to be able to pay my rent and still trying to save money for some hypothetical future baby, I’d label myself crazy. Being in my early 30s with a real job, disposable income, and a permanent…

yeah, but after 11 weeks you turn your baby over to state controlled daycare for 8-10 hours a day, 5 or 6 days a week, so it’s not exactly the shining example we should be using.

Why would anyone make fun of that? We’re completely undecided on having kids, but we’re setting money aside. If we have the kids, we’ll have some flexibility. If we don’t have kids, we’ll take a kick-ass vacation. Win-win.

I can’t imagine what it would be like for parents trying to navigate medical conditions in their children. I mean, I freaked out the first time my dog threw up (spoiler alert: dogs puke all the time when nothing is wrong with them). It must be 100x worse with a child. I certainly wouldn’t trust my own judgement about…

My dad almost died of meningitis when I was a kid. For the rest of her life, my mom will have a panic attack when anyone in the family gets a stiff neck.

I had a similar thought. She says that part of the evangelical experience is a relationship not only with god, but with other individuals who do not yet know god. STOP RIGHT THERE. You are pursuing a relationship with someone who does not want a relationship with you. That is creepy and wrong. Don’t be that guy who’s…

Are you from Portland? i think I saw someone handing out this same flyer outside the library.

Yeah, there’s a big difference between having to say to a depressed friend “Sorry you can’t come to our giant party with one million people! We’ll definitely miss you!” and “I left work early and drove across town and hired a babysitter because we were supposed to get drinks, I’ve already been waiting 10 minutes in…

The problem is that when teachers go on strike, parents don’t experience some come-to-Jesus moment when they start appreciating teachers for putting up with their shitty kids. Parents resent and blame the teachers for making the parents deal with their own shitty kids for the duration of the strike.

I live in a neighborhood overrun with little girls under the age of 6 (there are 9 on my street alone). I cannot wait until they get old enough to start cookie-pushing. GROW UP FASTER, LITTLE GIRLS! You can’t haul boxes of cookies while you’re still in the stroller!

Probably not in his experience, though.

You are not alone. I hated this book! I still do! It’s AWFUL and while I don’t believe in forbidding books, I will not encourage any hypothetical future children of mine to read it.

We use ours as a breadbox- it’s the kind that’s mounted over the stove and it turns out that it’s approximately one billion dollars to replace it with a cabinet. When we got a cat with some deep-seated vendetta against bread products (seriously where do they get these shelter animals?) we started storing them in the…

My first thought was “perfect for those nights when you want to wear an evening gown but haven’t shaved your pits in three weeks!”