I’d be pretty pissed off if I woke up covered in tattoos that were each a one-off clue. That’s what post-its are for.

My brother doesn’t have his shit together enough to have a secret family, so that’s a relief. I’ve paid off enough of his debts to his friends! I hear you on the lost potential, though. Thinking of how talented my brother is in so many ways, I feel like it’s more painful that he’s such a fuck-up now.

That guy is my brother (I hope not literally, though). Can’t cut him off because we’re afraid the niece and nephew will starve if we do, but I’m awfully tired of each new “idea” of how to make money if we’ll just float him a few hundred dollars for a few days.

The cutoff is born early 80s, not graduating high school in the early 80s.

This is what I do not understand about registries- a $60 cheese knife? Why would I ask my friends and family to buy things for me that I won’t even remember in 6 weeks? (Not to say that a $60 cheese knife is inherently ridiculous, but every registry has shit on it you know the couple doesn’t care about at all).

In the best light, Mary was really saying “yes, they had to have a registry for her MIL but what they really need is help paying down the student loans so that would be a great gift”

I didn’t know this, and in retrospect it explains some kind of weird registry items I’ve seen. Thanks for cluing me in!

Everyone who doesn’t share exactly the same taste as me is obv super trashy

As a fellow craft beer snob, I agree those orange infused beers are THE WORST.

You mean the eyeliner that’s coming between you and God?

Thanks, my brain can’t unsee that now that I’ve imagined it. What did I ever do to you to deserve that?

SO TRUE

I actually think Daniel Craig plays a Bond closer to the original Ian Fleming novels. Up until From Russia With Love, Bond *is* a little rough around the edges, suffers moments of indecision and doubt, punches a lot of people. I think Connery-Bond is an awesome character, but I think Craig in Casino really captured…

It sounds delicious! I’ll skip the dressing (I’m allergic to citrus, which seriously impedes my ‘winter’ salad game) but roasted red onions sound like what my life has been lacking.

I’m a big fan of dark greens + fruit + cheese + nut. Pear/blue cheese/walnut, strawberry/goat cheese/sliced almonds, etc. I am kitchen/flavor challenged, but even I can manage to whip up something fancy-looking with this framework.

I just ate some incredible beets cooked in coconut milk from our local Indian restaurant. I have absolutely no idea how they’re made, but they’re amazing. And I’m a regular beet eater, but I just roast mine with olive oil and they don’t taste this fancy.

having a vagina/not having a vagina IN NO WAY correlates to how funny one finds poop.

On the plus side, my puppy isn’t going to scream “I hate you!” when she turns thirteen, since she’ll never move much beyond “OMGMomILoveYouSoMuchI’mSoGladYouCameHomeIMissedYou” *tailwag tailwag*. On the other hand, one day that baby will learn to use the toilet, and I’ll still be picking up dog poop.

He could have spent all that boring time getting matching tattoos with the baby!

I’m hardly an MRA misogynist, but I am a feminist AND a statistician- almost as bad? Your implication that women can’t use actual data and numbers to determine policy is exceptionally offensive.