Are we sure, I mean really sure, he’s not actually on Philly’s roster?

Oh, you meant they sent basketball back a few decades in the *bad* sense. I was hoping maybe they had thrown some good crisp bounce passes and finished off with clean two-handed set shot. #makebasketballgreatagain

Don’t let facts get in the way of a good conspiracy, I say.

Trump can’t grow a beard

I’m not anti-Semitic either, but I’m starting to get pretty pissed that my wife won’t tell me where she’s hiding her gold.

I personally thought he sounded great, and I majored in Music at Trump University, so I know a thing or two about singing.

The things a lady has to do for a green card.

He’s reading the lyrics

I’m not sure if anyone heard about this other fun fact. But the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead in last year’s NBA Finals. (The Finals is the championship series in professional basketball.)

i blame video game, the walking dead, etc. used to be a guy would gently lay the ball in the cup, say the pledge of allegiance, and shake hands with the opposing coach before hustling back “on d”. Now Glenn is dead. Rims are bleeding. It is madness, this culture of dunking.

This is *not* going to go over well at the Billionaires Club holiday brunch.

There sure is. And you can bet he won’t be paying for her tuition anymore.

Fine, I’ll say what everyone’s thinking: Is there a Mister Koritala?

Best. Soccer game. Ever.

I think she means Jesus, the Mexican landscaper from my neighborhood who is going to track these guys down and fuck em up.

OK just stop right there. I will have none of your bringing logic into this discussion about my good invisible friend Jesus.