YES. Best response. <3

NEVER FORGET

Oh my god please let me one day be an Overly Sexualized Velociraptor

This is beautifully written. Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry for the loss and pain that you and your family have suffered.

I never thought I'd be this enthusiastic about the idea of extorting children.

Mark. Mark. Mark.

We need to see video of you guinea pig twerking, and we need to see it NOW.

"And both girls died in a car accident on prom night" is what really did me in.

My dad still does that on public facebook messages. It's endearingly awkward and adorable.

I love when parents sign their texts with variations of "xox-mum". Celebs' moms: they're just like ours!

One of these days I'm going to join all you cool kids on Twitter, I swear!

Also note that the first letter of every paragraph spells out KIRBY DELAUTER. Genius.

I dunno, I wouldn't mind hanging out with that pooch.

Oh my god the second-to-last paragraph made me laugh so hard. Just... not what I was expecting. I can see it playing out in very slow motion in my head and it's so, so awkward.

That's awesome! Now I wish I had a copy of the magazine to read. Thanks for filling us in.

I love you so much right now

Woah woah woah. She looks fabulous, as always, but I am extremely concerned about that "end of toplessness at the beach" headline. I need more information!!

At a certain point my brain disconnected and stopped believing that it was him making the voices.