Who would not want their surrogacy or child custody cases handled by a stripper?

65. Uber ran over Nick Denton's kitten.

Possibly to deter people from sleeping or otherwise taking up residence in the toilet?

And vice versa.

I mean, why change the oil and rotate the tires and all that shit? The car still runs, sort of, right?

What happens when those 34,000 people decide to leave because of the high taxes?

Can someone fill me in on what Piers did or didn't do leading up to this that consituted not paying attention?

This is an absolutely definitive list if you're a straight white male.

Right. A winner from Metro would probably be wearing a gown designed by Adrian, for example.

Beyoncé has an endorsement deal with Pepsi. It's good sense to make sure there are no products from Pepsi's competitors anywhere near the backstage area, or else someone from TMZ is going to dig through the trash, find a Coke can, and make a story out of it.

That is basically the structure of a tragic melodrama.

Congratulations, Denton, the entire Gawker brand is now dead.