I can understand having a personal preference for non-fiction, even to the point of just not reading fiction, but to act like it makes you a better person is just weird. It reminds me of all those people who used to be like 'oh I never watch TV, movies are inherently superior', which stopped being a remotely tenable…

That's interesting, for me I find fiction is better for stress relief because I'm more likely to lose myself in it. If I'm super stressed I tend to go for YA or the easier end of adult fiction though.

Sure, but if you wanted to connect to the LW you could say something like "my favourite books are the Harry Potter series, but at the moment I'm reading this really fascinating book on language development". From the letter, it doesn't sound like that's what the women she's meeting are saying. (If they are saying…

Thanks! I find the most common failing of PhDs is that we tend to be awful at admitting when we don't know what we're talking about, even when the other person is an expert in the area and we know nothing. I think I've mostly trained myself out of that, but I still sometimes realise I'm automatically assuming that I…

Absolutely, someone can be very literary and love Harry Potter, and not just for nostalgia reasons. But I would think that if they're talking to someone like the LW and she asks for their favourite book, they would want to say something more highbrow as well as Harry Potter. Like, personally I love Terry Pratchett,…

I don't understand why so many guys do this. They can't all be exhibitionists, so do they think that we need them to establish that they have a working penis before things can proceed further?

But 'chemsex' sounds cool and cyberpunky!

I wonder if the problem is that she's attractive and intelligent, but can't hold a normal conversation with non-academics? I've known a few people like that, and it's even worse when they try to 'come down to the other person's level'.

It also depends on the people. One person might read a lot but have no particular desire to talk about books with anyone, while another might absolutely need to regularly have long conversations about whatever they're reading at the time. The first person could be perfectly happy with a non-reader, the second person…

I'm curious about why you've given up on fiction. Personally I prefer non-fiction, partly because if a non-fiction book isn't very good at least I've usually learnt something, whereas a crappy fiction book is a total waste of time. But there's still a lot of fiction I enjoy, including some YA but also Booker winners…

Do they even have stories at all, or is it just dick pics?

It's always sad when you see someone's bookshelf and it's just Harry Potter, some utter shite like the Da Vinci Code, and their first year textbooks. Unless they have the good stuff on Kindle I suppose, but that's no excuse for Dan Brown.

I have no problem with people who like Harry Potter and so forth, especially if they first read it as a kid and so it's got a place in their heart, etc. But if they're an adult they should have other favourite books as well.

I wonder if a more fundamental problem is that she wants someone she can connect with intellectually, and that isn't likely to happen with someone whose favourite book is Harry Potter. Not that there's anything wrong with Harry Potter, but if you're an adult and your only favourite book is for young adults, you're…

+1 on DR's advice, and repeating that if you want advice (up to you), we're going to need at least a bit of information. Are you both unhappy? Just one of you? Or are you both okay but want different things in the future?

Like someone else (@OK, I think) has said, they could plausibly say that Tuan said that Pasha sounded really depressed at school, maybe made a joke about killing himself, he told his parents and they were concerned, and when he didn't pick up the phone they decided to go round and check on him. To anyone who doesn't…

Maybe the Russians are doing something for the Vietnamese, and in return the Vietnamese are lending them Tuan. The Russians probably don't have any agents who could convincingly pass for teenagers.

That's exactly what I thought. I thought it was going to be 'you don't have to do that' or something, not 'you have to keep wearing this, now put it on even though it probably has garbage slime on it'.

I can't see Paige being a good fit either. She might like socialism in theory (maybe), but she's going to be horrified at how it works in practice, and will not be happy to be told that she should just keep her head down and say nothing.

How would anyone know that Tuan had helped him plan it though? Pasha isn't going to say anything that will get his only friend in trouble, the Jenningses and Tuan sure as hell aren't going to tell anyone, and no-one else knows.