My family lived in Tangier, Morocco for a year and became regular patrons of a local French restaurant. The ONLY WAY a server would come to your table was if you snapped your fingers up over your head. Otherwise, they would completely ignore the table. We probably went there once a week and rarely dined out elsewhere.…

Kelly Faircloth is riiiiiiight. The fact that Tagalongs are ranked below Trefoils is a goddamn travesty.

OH GOD I WOULDNT EVEN HAVE TO INTERACT W PEOPLE FACE TO FACE they could just email me and be like ::marketing idea:: and i could email them back just being like

oh shut the fuck up

I need help reacting to this.

I still want to know what was in that email.

The upside is that, if anyone has ever deserved a shitty tip, it's you!

god i heard the clip and i wanted to punch his face off his face and then take his skin face and tan it and then put that on a dart board and use it and then attach that to a missile and blow it up and then take the ashes of that and pee on them and then take that and put it under the part of my yard where my dog pees…

Can you do a BCO with the ones that you don't even believe?! I would love to see that.

I can't possibly be the only server who thinks putting "extra love," whatever the hell that may mean, in a person's omelet is unconscionable, no matter how much of a dickwalrus the person is? I mean, unless "extra love" means "too much black pepper" or something. In my more than 20 years of serving, no matter how…

I don't know, imagining a loose acquaintance showing up to a work presentation and blasting a fight song on the clarinet is unsettling.

I walked on the last car salesman that did the disappearing act on me. I told him that obviously he wasn't able to sell me a car. (I was paying cash as well)

He had a really butthurt look on his face. Then, a few days later the asshole had the gall to call me and ask if I had made a "buying decision."

I told him, no, I…

Drew Magary was my favorite writer.

This diagram explains it all.

My father's sister - my aunt - used to give my sister and I crap because she was jealous of/hated my mother for the myriad reason adult women resent or dislike each other. My parents were happily married, she was not, my sister and I were both healthy - her son was severely disabled, her mother got along with my…

I've always had a poor relationship with my dad.

Uh, this.

I'm sorry but this is bullshit. If you heard probably 99% of the pop stars these days sing live "unplugged" with no reverb or accompaniment I doubt it would be much better. Beyonce can't sing half as well. Mariah has some def vocal problems, wear and tear from all the riffing and over singing, but this is unfair…

Your mother and my mother must be very closely related. I am so sorry. Next year, don't invite her. If she asks why, tell her you can't bear to see her unhappy and dissatisfied, and hang up.

To top it all off, she's an expert at gaslighting