Capitalism for social justice.

African badass for justice.

There are whole books written on how to have that conversation.

Hold up. "Burtsexuality" is a thing? OK, that's what I am.

Wait, you're not white???

It is appropriate that the official food of America wasn't invented here. In hip hop, we call it "biting" when you steal a cool style, fashion, or method from someone else. We like to bite. Of course, everyone is biting hip hop from us now, so, justice is served.

I'm not sorry. Burt is here to fill the void of our empty holiday lives. She is the Alpha and the Omega.

Mac and cheese is the food that unites us all. It is America.

Hordes, remember. Hordes.

Changing my name from Lateef to Tyrone McBlackerson in protest.

It made me thrilled that I don't have that type of lame-ass relationship.

Well, as a fellow rake, I must concur. Game recognizes game.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

"BTW, the hardest part of my first day at Jezebel was figuring out the correct method of capitalization for MAC and VIVA GLAM! and corresponding exclamation point placement."

I think you're feeling fremdshamen.

Hell. Yes.

"All we want is the same choices that men have."

I use dude with gay friends (both men and women) to signal "IDGAF who you sleep with, you're just one of my homies." I think they really appreciate the genuine sense of inclusiveness.

Yes, I think gender equality means that women have the opportunity to be as awful leaders as men. Do we want them to be awful? No. But we want them to have as much opportunity as men. We certainly don't want the opposite - for them to never even have the chance.

Wait, what? Thatcher's rise to power and maintenance thereof was a pivotal moment in the history of gender equality. Is that not obvious?