It’s when you become aware that you DIDN’T ASK TO BE BORN.

Not to mention how well a teenager can play both divorced parents. Idk what’s really going on here — no one does — but 15 year olds can be obnoxious as all hell.

If by “adopt” you mean “acquire cats, bunnies, sloths and capybaras”, then yes. If I could regrow my uterus and give birth to a sloth, I would. But human babies? No.

Can’t blame the kid. I mean, everyone struggles with having no space from family during Christmas time. But imagine if someone that attention starved and egotistical was your mother... She has serious thirst issues.

Vice President Jesus

Intelligence and consistency are not to be found in the ingrediences that compose Theresa and Joe Giudice, and they don’t have a set way of saying their own name.

Honestly, I’m not sure why it needed to be front and center in her driveway?? The bright red bow is like a red flag waved in the faces of all the local workman etc, to whom they owe money. Park it offsite, take her for a ride to see it. Bring it in after the new year. She’s not really going to be schlepping around for…

I miss my Sassy subscription.

Glad teen/tween girls had an alternative to the other teeny-bopper nonsense magazine.

Somewhere (in Portland, probably) there’s a machine that spits dudes like those guys out by the dozens. We must find this machine, lest we be flooded with inane conversations about small batch bourbon and banjo / mustache wax.

The little bits are actually bits of the pits. I use it, though not daily, because I have hella combo skin. And I know it’s basically rubbing glass on my face but it sloughs off the dry bits that don’t come off with the washcloth. *shrug emoji*

Make a paste made out of baking soda and water. Not too abrasive and it’s safe to be flushed out to sea

Get some Cetaphil and a washcloth you weirdos.

Good. I once scratched my cornea with facial wash that had microbeads in it. Ended up going to the clinic. Between that and the eye drops, my wallet was much lighter and my hatred for those little plastic balls of evil grew.

I’m surprised no one tried to tack on an amendment banning funding for Planned Parenthood, or banning all Muslims, or something stupid like that.

Congress’ Christmas present to the U.S. - fucking cooperating for a change.

No, you’re fine as long as you don’t rinse it off.

Is it just me, or do the voices sound like people trying to do impressions of the Full House cast?

My partner and I are in our late thirties / early forties. We’ve sorted through all of these issues except the last: the inevitability that things may still change. It’s what scares me, even after almost six years together. Having spent 13 years solo before we got together, I still feel a little unsettled and…