It's like "Oh they're trying to explain the problem, but I like being the innocent victim so I'm going to intentionally not put any effort into understanding it so that people might feel sorry for me"

OH christ. Do you know my in-laws? Seven years later they still blame me for my husband's fall from religion. As if my pussy had that kind of magical power to cause people to have a groundshaking shift in faith.

I believe that a culture of "self-esteem" — give everybody an award, change dress sizes so larger people feel smaller, allow teens to be disrespectful to those in authority —

Stop it. Set boundaries. You do NOT have to accept it because you are the oldest, most settled, or any other bullshit. When he turns up, tell him firmly he cant't stay, you are sorry. Then stick to it.

"I think a lot of this is that people who are close with their family don't understand the concept of not being close with your family."

For what it's worth, I believe you.

Agree! My mom is definitely a "you and your sibling are my wooooorld!!!" type of parent and like to ask just how much we're going to take care of her in her old age. This is particularly stressful to me since my mother and I have very different personalities and while I love her, I cannot stand to be around her very…

This has been one of the most therapeutic pieces I have read in a long time. My sister and I are estranged from our mother and when people hear of this they usually paint us as spoiled children. "But that's your MOTHER!" they say. No matter that she was and is an abusive psycho who both my sister and I tried our…

Or my personal favorite:

WHY are we quoting Emily Yoffe?? On ANYTHING?!

I've re-connected with my dad but I was pretty resentful towards him for most of my 20s. The moment I walked away was when I went to visit him and he was so drunk he didn't even realize I was crying while asking him why we didn't have a better relationship. He never mentioned it again and neither did I.

It kind of cracks me up how people write and write about raising narcissistic children (which I don't entirely disagree with, generally speaking), but fail to acknowledge the huge population of narcissistic parents and how they completely screw up their kids.

Yup. My husband's mother does this. She was/is an addict and is physically and emotionally abusive. But she did a GREAT JOB b/c he's successful! Someone give that woman Mother of the Year!

I have some experience dealing with someone (not a parent) who is so willfully disconnected from reality that they just don't understaaaaaand why you're upseetttttt what did they do wronnnnng can't we talk about it? And fine, you summon your backbone and your patience and you explain it clearly and simply. And your…

Vagnoni is 56, a few years older than I am (I'm at the boom's end.). When she writes about the ideas boomers have about how parents should be treated, I have to laugh. Boomers treated their parents like garbage. They had tons of advantages. The kind no group before or since had.

They accuse me of being a terrible person, but won't elaborate about exactly what I've done. Well, sometimes they do, but it doesn't make sense, at least to me

As the child of a narcissist (my father- thankfully my mother raised me) I can guarantee that grown children do not cut off ties with their parents because the parent did too good a job at building the child's self-esteem or because the parent won't support the view that the child has of themselves. Not talking to a…

"They accuse me of being a terrible person, but won't elaborate about exactly what I've done. Well, sometimes they do, but it doesn't make sense, at least to me."

Her entire argument is totally meaningless without the other side of the story. I seriously doubt her children just woke up one morning and decided to cut her out of their lives. Unless she explains why they cut her off it's all just a lot of mindless jabbering.