I initially thought Obama's delivery of "The Decree" was a "fuck it" move, too — until he got about halfway through and I realized it was actually genius. Colbert gave the President an effective platform to convey his message about healthcare to a younger audience. "The Decree" was very well written, funny, and…

I saw him in person a couple of weeks ago and it was just THE BEST thing. He winked at me, y'all! He's much younger looking in person (than I was expecting) and so charming. It's nice to have a president who is actually the smartest guy in the room and takes time to measure his thoughts before just saying things.

Sexy? What is sexy? The president?

Just when I think I'm out, he pulls me right back in.

BRB fangirling and have to step away from all the sexy.

"Blurge."

OMG THIS HAS TO BE IT.

They're talking about the berothal. Blue Ivy and the Future King George

My alias is "Mrs. Daniel Craig."

I bet the kids were really disappointed when they found out she wasn't a real princess either.

that one is just as funny as like "15 ways to know you're dominican," which they have lots of, and the things in the list are like "you're loud" and "you like rice"

Wait wait wait!! I clicked on the links and saw an article in Cosmo "25 signs you're horny". Now, I didn't open the article, but generally speaking, I know if I'm horny. It's an easily identifiable feeling. I mean... I expect them to give terrible sex "tips", but I didn't realize they would have to tell their readers…

Life, you know? You don't get it, but that's okay.

There's a big difference between smoking a pack of day and having a couple every once in a while. I'm the former and will probably never be able to be the latter—all or nothing for me—but some people can do it.

People are accidentally racist all the time—how they react when called out is a huge indicator of character.

I was going to comment about how I don't think he was trying to be racist but was just too stupid to realize that it was racist. Then he went "you're the real racist", and now it's fuck that dude. I see he just don't care.