“We’re all traveling through space at several thousand miles per hour, officer. None of us can stop.”

Are you sure this wasn’t Pedantic Man?

He’s technically correct, however he’s still guilty of carrying an opened alcohol container in the car, and possibly driving under the influence of alcohol.

All they need is butter.

The family is sending a fruit basket to the woman he profiled because she gave them a perfect reason to fire his sorry ass.  “Value Realization Leader”,  I bet his co-workers are bringing in celebration donuts on Monday. 

To be fair, I don’t know if dude was actually the CEO’s son-in-law but his title was “Value Realization Leader” which is a three word phrase that says not a damn thing which sounds like the kind of job you give your idiot son-in-law if you’re a white CEO.

Damn he must have done other shit to piss off family! 

“Fired by your father-in-law on your day off” has to be one of the largest fuckups your average white dude will ever pull off.

Given that he has a idiot son-in-law position the only thing he needed to do was not cause people to be pissed off at the company. Clearly, he couldn’t even manage that.

Yukon Golds are a personal favorite. Purple potatoes would be fun, I think, but haven’t tried them.

Maybe its just me..but usually anything that loose in my carry on and wasn’t an electronic they never check or a book..was usually in a Ziploc.  Just whip out the zip lock put it ontop of the bag then stuff it back in quickly.  Saves a lot of time for small items that are likely to look odd in a scanner.  Its rare I…

The last time I was at a Chinese buffet a senior lady was sitting by herself and having a great time chowing down.  She had dessert first, then two plates of protein, more dessert and then finished off with a plate of roast beef. I want to be her. 

Olive Garden at lunch = involuntary desk nap at 2PM.  

“anyone eating by themselves at a Chinese buffet”

“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.”

Texans eat salad?

i hate shopping because i hate being in the same aisle as people. any people. i hate it. i dont like to be around people.

Looking at those photos just about gave me a heart attack!