WE’RE NOT TALKIN’ ABOUT THE CHICKS THAT LET CEO SNORT COKE OFF THEIR TITS ON WALL STREET, WALTER.

Do they have a sign out the front of their production offices saying “NO BLACKS”?

There are a lot of white people suggesting that every single fuckin’ person on the planet can only be one single ethnicity.

Wait, was rich Hollywood star Julia Roberts punching down when she played a disease-riddled streetwalking whore?

“No, no, no. We’re progressive woke people. We’re not authoritarian or anything like that. We’re just telling you what you can and can’t do, that’s all!”

“Capital of Everywhere”? It’s not even the fucking capital of New York.

You’re triggering my flashbacks to when me and my housemate killed her Siamese fighting fish.

Welcome to Millennial Writing 101: toning your writing to skirt the line between sarcastic and sincere that it could go either way, thus ensuring you don’t have to make a commitment one way or the other and you get the most amount of people to like you.

I’d be happy if they could read.

WADDABOUT......??!?!?!?!?!?!1!1/

Ah, hard target:

That’s a bit harsh.

Goddamn, one of my favourite Onion celebrity headlines along with...

Unless you’re Odell Beckham Jr. she’d probably turn you down. 

She’s pure privilege.

Pretty certain everything she does is in poor taste. Remember how angry she got when that black guy had the gall to not try to have sex with her?

Blessed’s whole life is a movie, and we’re merely extras in it.

I’d sell all that Hendrick to twee male hipsters in skinny tweed suits and waxed moustaches riding penny farthings in a fucking Melbourne Laneway, and use the proceeds to buy some Dobson’s.

She gonna do a cover of “Zip-Ah-Dee-Do-Da”?

I prefer the Mike Judge version.