“I was elected to lead. Not to read.”

Is it safe to say

Are they going to patch it again when the Redskins sign him?

Every time I see a costume like that I simultaneously think “damn that’s incredible” and “I could never do that, I go to the bathroom way too often”

May I submit for consideration, “Pestilencians”?

This was a very impressive RDR2 set. I got a couple days worth of laughs tonight, thanks!

Why grow beard when you can have these awesome mustaches?!

Die and respawn. 

I feel like I’ve seen too many of these because my mind can’t even see the illusion anymore, it just sees the flat piece of cardboard from the start.  

Holy shit.

In the eyes of God we’re all legendary.

So are Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael considered legendaires?
Also since its saints + biblical figures does that mean you can capture Jacob? Can you even capture Jacob, I mean the dude beat God in a title wrestling match.

Does Jacob have weird catch conditions? Can Noah run away? Is St. Joan a fire type? Is St. Patrick…

This completely makes me foam at the mouth in anger.

I’m white, born and raised south of Boston. Had never left the country at the time, but had done very well in school with various foreign languages.

Fast forward to college in Orlando, Florida and I was working at a Tex-MEX restaurant, and I would try and speak…

So if someone gets chlamydia and it takes months to develop, would that be called a...*puts on sunglasses*...slow clap?

I’m just so disappointed that this article didn’t begin “Avril Lavigne isn’t dead--she’s born again.” It was RIGHT THERE! 

I wonder if when this guy does to bed he has...REM sleep.

King Domino has been great for us (6-7y), its fast to setup, fast to play, simple, and involves math. Despite the type of thinking that is involved, the winner spreads around, without using “CPU Assistance” like Mario Kart or Mario Party.

What tickles me the most is the fact that, without a doubt, Secret Service members noticed it and chose not to say anything. 

Can we please stop adding gate to things. Watergate was the name of the hotel, not Nixon having an issue with water lol