Ah, that explains it. I thought maybe it was a severe Bell’s Palsy or something.

Maybe he’s watched Good Will Hunting too many times but forgot to realize he’s not a fictional genius.

I think his face is stuck like :-/.

Yep, you’re an idiot. Congrats you win 5,000,000,000 Schrute Bucks.

Ha! I find his voice shouty but endearing. He reminds me of my grandpa’s voice, except he had a Chicago accent, but the same cadence and rasp.

He was like a big kid in a ball pit!

When the announcer lady came on giving the airplane safety instructions for the card stunt I was cracking up. After all that it looked a mess and I found myself annoyed for the staff/volunteers who had to put those fucking cards so precisely on each seat for no glorious pay off.

An ex-boyfriend of mine was Army and he was stationed for a time in Florida, near Destin. I believe that area is referred to as the “Redneck Riviera” and the soundtrack is just as you describe.

My dad isn’t a parrothead but 2 years ago they put in an above ground pool and when I visit in summer, the only music that plays is Buffet and Bob Marley on repeat. It gets a little old after awhile, but if I'm in the pool floating with a beer or cocktail I don't mind.

I went to a Buffet show in my early-20s and it was honestly one of my best concert experiences. It was hot as hell and crowded on the lawn, but everyone was cool, friendly, and very charitable as bottles of tequila and joints were being passed around by strangers. Which in hindsight, isn’t safe, but I didn’t care at…

I saw some comparison of Hillary’s speech to POTUS too. Barack Obama is a brilliant orator and has a spot in the all-time greats list. His speeches will be in history books (probably not in Texas tho), quoted and studied years from now. Hillary is a fine speaker, but she’s not on his level and that’s ok. It’s not…

Every time I see a picture of Trump’s white mouth hole ringed by orange it reminds me of the Mad Men episode where Roger Sterling has the Kentucky Derby party and wore blackface and his mouth looked like a gaping asshole. As does Trump’s.

Yeah, I'm a Bernie supporter (but will be voting for Hillary) and his voice gets quite shouty. But, it's ok for men to shout. Ladies must talk in a seductive whisper baby voice.

I found General Allen to be both motivating and terrifying. Like, I kind of wish I had a pocket version of him to guide me through my day because I think I could be much more productive, but I’d probably need to wear a pee pad.

Their social media team must not spend much time on social media. Rookie mistake.

If Bette cameos as Leona, I'm in. If not, no.

Relax, Blake. Crack open a shitty beer, write another shitty song, and delete your account.

Daley was Mayor at the time, but yeah, pretty much. He wanted it to be his crowning glory in office. Sorry, pal.

As a Chicagoan who loves President Obama, I cheered when we lost the bid, and I’m still grateful today that we lost it. Nothing to do with the President, everything to do with the costs, as well as who would actually benefit from the games and what damages they would leave in their wake.

I barely scraped a D in high school Algebra. I’m going to apply to a teaching position in Calculus. When I don’t get the job because I’m not qualified, I’m going to sue for discrimination under the logic that some Asians are good at math and I’m white and therefore should automatically get the position because I said…