True Story:

“have mercy”

“Oh look, it’s zero-fucks-thirty”

Rushed through the roll down/seal to get home for Tabloid Wednesday.

BRA-FUCKING-VO BOBBY.

Johnny Depp has gone on record saying he doesn’t want an Oscar, and at this point I think that if we deny Leo again we will actually break him.

IT: What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Q. What time is it?

I nearly airbrushed her into oblivion. Ended up checking “albino” on the form.

I have just over two weeks left of work and that is totally my motto about everything.

I love all the wrong answers, but this one is such a work of art.

I am definitely going to incorporate the phrase “zero-fucks thirty” into my life.

I want to know what Mr. Bobby would have put in that three letter space.

Just as a hint — it’s usually better for grandchildren to interview grandparents; it’s somehow easier for them to be more real and honest if they’re not talking to their own kids. But I can’t tell you how invaluable such stories are. You learn things about what your family was like, what life was like, long before you…

This looks perfect. I keep asking my father to write down all the incredible stories he has about his insane Italian immigrant family. It’s like My Big Fat Greek Wedding with even more insanity. From family members who would fight over hats and throw pasta out the window of their fifth story apart in Queens when they…

Well, the only reason people become celebrities is because of their fanbase. How many times does a celebrity chef get asked to meet a kid suffering from Acute Leukemia?

You too have a scewed representation of what happened.

As a USC fan, REALLY getting tired of this shit.

This is the youth of today. No concept of being gracious to their host bowl game, host city. No manners. No class. No concept of "sucking it up" and making the best out of a situation but just complain and gripe instead. Hey, USC player, shitty bowl games are generally played in shitty cities. Perhaps if you didn't…