Doom goes in here!

I ate an Olive Garden once and had a similarly crazy waiter. It was late and the guy was... off...

I like my men like I like my coffee... freeze dried and water soluble.

We have regulars at the place i work, a old lady with Alzheimer's and her husband, who bless his heart, takes such great care of her, but is a bit off himself. One day he grabs a server and says to her "Dont you hear that lady screaming?! Shes being raped, why is no one helping her?!!!" She tells him theres no woman…

My FIL once drove two hours at the butt-crack of dawn to get my MIL some beignets while she was pregnant.

I like my coffee like I like my men. I don't drink coffee. —- Ellen Degeneres

Haha, fair enough. And thanks! Apparently this guy is too, because he's definitely in his late 60s ish, but he never fails to say it that way.

It's hard to know what I would have done, especially at a naive 20 years old, but playing armchair critic now, maybe the best thing would have been to take the money, then go into the bathroom and tell the lady about it and give her the money so she can call a cab.

I was once eating at an Olive Garden in college (I was probably a little stoned, to be honest) and our waiter was acting a bit insane. I don't remember details, but I know he came up to our table shortly after taking our order and made a long speech about the disgusting institution that is the Olive Garden and how it…

I'd probably have told him that his wife was on the phone. It's not doing anything inappropriate and not tattling on him, but it is, potentially, ruining his "fun" for the evening if his lady friend wasn't aware he was married.

I had a regular when I worked at a diner who came in just for coffee and as he ordered it would always make the same exact joke "I like my coffee like I like my women, hot, black, and sweet." Even when I dropped the formality of taking his order and just grabbed him a cup of coffee as he sat down, he'd say it when I…

I know this might not be the best place to say it, but i just need to express my eternal gratitude to jezebel for having the only comments section anywhere on the Internet that fills me with joy instead of anger.

Hans Moleman will have you know that he will FUCK YOUR SHIT UP.

Me and my girlfriend have been meaning to try Insomnia Cookies for a while now, and I'll be damned if this isn't confirming my decision. Shit getting weird at 2am + cookies = my kind of night.

In the olden days of High Schools past, I was a meat clerk at a grocery store. We had a very nice, mid-40's woman that worked there, and she had an old guy that would call and pretend to be her husband. We usually just put him on hold and let him wear himself out, but one VERY busy Saturday, I elected to tell…

My moment of food (somewhat related) absurdity:

Something gloriously retro about this set... in that vein...

I was expecting that second story to end with a wacky twist about what they really wanted and were mistakenly calling eggshells. But nope - it was eggshells all along.

Yikes. I mean it's really frustrating when that happens, for sure. But Uhhhh if you're at the point where you're ready to move in with the person don't you think the onus is on your if you don't get all pertinent information about the person before hand?

I've fed my two month old in a variety of places and never had an issue, but honestly one of the best experiences I had was at the mechanic. The 20-something mechanic actually had a full conversation with me about what was wrong with the car while I was nursing without a cover. He acted like this was no big thing,…