I don’t know if you’re new to this website or what, but “balanced perspective” and “Hamilton Nolan” are what we like to call mutually exclusive.

I have a feeling this will be one of those cases future engineers learn about in class.

I’m sorry, but “insvestiation” needs to be a word, NOW. Megan, you coined it, so what does it mean?

This will forever be peak Dafoe as far as I’m concerned:

Calm down, you’re being hysterical.

This looks surprisingly like a Renaissance portrait.

I live in Alberta now but I used to curl against Terrace Bay!

Service animals and emotional support animals are not the same.

Let me tell you something, if I get onto a plane, and there is a goddamn peacock roaming freely around the cabin, I. AM. OUT. I do NOT like birds, and there is no way that I’m going to be trapped in a metal tube with one for hours on end. Nope. No way. And peacocks can be particularly aggressive assholes, so double no…

Come at me, but this “emotional support animal” is bullshit. If you need help with flight anxiety, take a tranquilizer or booze, like a normal sane person. Animals - no exceptions, dogs, cats, whatever! - have no business inside a passengers cabin.

Do you think Ted Allen sometimes looks around at his empire of food-based television and says to himself, “Can you imagine I built this off of telling dumb bros how to cook a single decent recipe in a desperate attempt to impress their loved ones?”

I think anyone who takes their personal appearance cues from Randy Quaid’s character in Kingpin should probably be pretty thoroughly investigated by law enforcement

You can choose not to do most of those things on the list too.

I feel as bad for these people as those who signed up for Trump U .

If you’re trying to improve your speaking habits, this is bad advice.

If he did do some of those things he’s clearly horrible, but “my wages to do a nude scene weren’t as high as I would like” is a really lukewarm inclusion in this.

“Listen, this incident took place over a month ago. It was a different time. It is not indicative of who I am now.”

A point of argument. I wouldn’t call The Usual Suspects Byrne’s most famous film. That would be Miller’s Crossing.

BTW, #TeamCoenBros never molested anyone.