You realize it’s smuggle, not snuggle. ;)

JFC. Democrats are being handed this election to them on a silver fucking platter, and they want to set it on fire. Support your candidate, don’t denigrate the other, and whoever wins the nod, vote -D. It’s really not that fucking hard.

Finding out Mark Fuhrman is now a commentator on Fox News was so depressingly unsurprising.

Palin probably sounds coherent because she had a PR person write it for her. #TeamAnonymousPalinStaffer

They also looked into whether there was a point to all of this, but it turnedout to be imaginary.

At least one of the numbers in question was irrational.

“Mathematicians are currently investigating this incident as it apparently contradicts all known rules of math. This marks the first known instance of multiplying a negative by a negative and still getting a negative in return."

I am fundamentally against any and all media endeavors that try to treat such a dangerous and immoral lifestyle as something worthy of praise. I will not support any television program that portrays “teenagers” in a positive light.

I suffered from extreme swelling when I had my wisdom teeth removed my freshmen year of college. I was showering one afternoon after the swelling had gone most of the way down, and when I looked in the mirror I was horrified by a giant rotten green spot covering most of my chest from shoulder to shoulder. I…

I had a stubbornly antibiotic resistant C-Diff infection. Which did awful things. It lasted for most of 2 years, and it’s hard to talk about because it was a bit traumatic and I was delirious with fever for most of that time. But basically, I had explosive, uncontrollable diarrhea for 2 fucking years non-stop. Not…

I was recovering from lung surgery and went to get my stitches removed. The nurse practitioner had me lie down and took them out. They started to leak a little residual fluid that had been strapped by the stitches. A patch of gauze soaked it up and the nurse taped another one over it. No biggie. I sat up and put my…

I had a hysterectomy and they told me not to have sex for a bunch of weeks (I’m sure they said a number but I wasn’t really paying attention) due to risk of infection. I felt pretty okay about two weeks later and had sex. I don’t know if it was related to what happened but I’m going with it, because.....because…

Basically the only thing I understand about the Reality TV side is Judge Judy and she’s LOSING????? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Okay but while we’re on the topic of reality television, I would honestly pay so much money to watch Serena Williams absolutely crush a children’s tournament and be a terrible sport about it. Let’s at least get Funny or Die on this.

It’s times like this I miss The Soup the most. I have never even heard of nearly half of these shows. I NEED YOU JOEL McHALE!

Everything you need to know about Donald Trump, you can know from the fact that he eats steak well done. My mom made me cook a prime rib to well done once, and I almost reported her to amnesty international.

He ruins steaks like he ruins America.