I briefly dated this girl who was really into Kubrick. I had to see Eyes Wide Shut in the theater about seventeen times; the only conclusion I drew was that Tom Cruise is a soulless automaton that cannot be destroyed with conventional weaponry.

At least you didn't laugh.

Girls are well-known for being dumb.

+50 hipster points allows you to achieve ironic hero status. +25 if the girl had short hair.

Ghostbusters, obviously.

Jesus, you guys are pathetic. I love this place so much…I never feel alone…except when I don't have Internet or when anime is being discussed.

You must be a guy, because women who think this way DO NOT EXIST.

Word is you're now the Barney Stinson of the Old Port.

I seem to recall the 'Frasier' writers named Niles's son after him.

David Schwimmer just looks like a douche. You just want to freshen up a vagina with him. But the writing made it worse, I'll admit to that much.

Danson and Long had chemistry; Schwimmer and Aniston had none. I think if they'd picked a better actor for the Ross character on Friends (and didn't write him as a complete asshole), Ross and Rachel would have been the central couple of the show…a position which was obviously filled by Chandler and Monica instead.

SAM is Sam's Todd Packer. Minus all the bigotry, I guess.

He's probably hiding out in the office.

Couldn't have been enough SEX! AM I RIGHT?!

Would you really be surprised?