For chrissake, can someone finally get through to these fuckwits that the shit you slyly murmur over the rim of your bloody mary, as you scope passersby with your brunch companion (singular), is very often not fit for broadcasting to the entire world?

A couple of weeks ago I had some randoms come in while i happened to be at the hosting desk. It was a sunday, and IM CATHOLIC BUT I WAS STILL LIKE, OH GOD NO when they started off with, “So we noticed you aren’t in church right now...”

Yeah, they’re a bit self-congratulatory about it, and maybe that grand could have been used in a “better” way—donated to a homeless shelter or something. On the other hand, that delivery woman is working a probably minimum wage job with definitely shitty tips and is a much-hoped-for grand richer, so sure, good job,…

Um, she was a well-known conceptual and performance artist and designer long before she met Lennon?

I wear a different pair of newtons, but love them. It’s a different approach, but they force me into good form which doesnt hurt my knees/hips/back at all.

I wear a different pair of newtons, but love them. It’s a different approach, but they force me into good form which…

Poor Bess Truman! They forgot to prepare her bottle for easy breakage.

You know, this would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. Where does our own responsibility lie? They put the sodium content amount on almost everything these days! I read the labels. An old habit from my father’s congestive heart failure and trying to cut his salt intake. Is it that hard to do? Do we have to once again,…

I wouldn’t call Benedict Wong’s role minor in any way, shape, or form. Pretty sure he’s top 10 in screen time.

No. I am not going to correspond with a professional person who lists that as their primary contact. Gmail is free. Make an account with a username that makes you look older than a fifteen year old horny person.

Your name is stupid to someone else, somewhere.

I always make a point to stop at McDonald’s if I’m in a different country. The same stuff is on the menu, sure, but there are also some really amazing things to be had (shrimp burger in Germany) and some disgusting things that I wouldn’t call food (McBifana in Portugal).

Fuck IPA fever. I am so sick of wasting ten minutes per table explaining our vanilla espresso IPA, our 36,000,000-minute IPA, our Antidisestablishmentarianism IPA. Go hump a barrel of hops and GTFO of my face.

Yeah, Community completely dunks on BBT.