My dad was like that. I love brussels sprouts know, but hated them growing up. One time when I was 6 he told me that I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I had eaten all my sprouts.

I disagree primarily because of two words:

Happy Birthday Becks.

You mean the Bag Hutch?

I think my sympathy for Kartheiser’s shaven hairline has somehow been transformed into sympathy for Pete Campbell the character. But nothing can diminish the joy of watching Pete suffer.

And don’t forget!

My 16-year-old sister looks a little bit older so she occasionally gets hit on by boys in their early 20s. At one point, this one sorry fellow tried to convince her that “age is just a number,” to which she quickly retorted, “a prison cell is just a room.”

I just remembered a great one! Last month, my friend - who is the chillest, least confrontational, most mild-mannered person in the whole world - was visiting Israel and he ran into some German lady who was like, “Why can’t there just be peace?” My friend was all, “Yeah, totally” (my friend and I are both Jewish but…

Waiting at the airport for a flight. There’s a line of about 10 people at the counter that were delayed from an earlier flight. Some dude pushes past the line and screams at the desk agent that, “(He) has to be on this flight! And it has to be first class!” Agent tells him that she can help him but he need to wait in…

I would have stuck my fingers in my vagina and painted fuck you with period blood on the wall, but I'm an animal.

Have you considered the possibility that it's not the buttered coffee and that you are, like Bruce Willis in M. Night Shyamalan's finest work, simply unbreakable?

"I almost foam at the mouth in disgust, but I try to be pleasant."

This is so stupid. Nobody "deserves respect" simply for joining the military. Millions of people join the military because they have no other options. The military is just as full of horrible douchebags, evil psychopaths, and rotten humans as the grocery store down the street, and nobody deserves my respect simply for…

Brad, you dolt! Don't you know if she'll do it with you, she'll do it to you? Zing! Pow!

I love that Posh refused to actually suck on it and is just holding it somewhat disdainfully.

Considering how heavily photoshopped these pictures are, can you be sure you're not already in the calendar?

I think fundamentalist Christians were really excited to see a star doing evangelical work and so they welcomed him with open arms and he believed the hype and now his head's so big it's a wonder he can fit through doors.