I know! I kind of want to invite you guys over for a slumber party now.

This nanny (not THE nanny) has paparazzi following her, and she looks smug as fuck. I think they did have an affair of some sort, and that SHE leaked it because she wants to be famous.

Ah yes, these two plump hens need to drop 20-30 lbs post haste.

Bobby Finger just wins, period. I want to be Bobby Finger when I grow up.

She was looking for some work—she didn’t want a fling—when she got a nanny job with Ben and Jen this spring. What was she to do, what was she to say, she needed the money. But over the next few months her bosses went to war—she was there to watch the children, but their father saw more. She had youth! Jen went poof!…

Wow, definitely thought you meant that Ben Affleck was dating Fran Drescher, and my mind was blown for a minute.

This is the most meh Tweet Beat ever. STEP IT UP, CELEBS.

I live 10 minutes from his office. People here are fucking PISSED.

Every time I read a First Female _______ headline I am reminded of Tina Fey accepting the Mark Twain award: “I do hope that women are achieving at a rate these days that we can stop counting what number they are things.” It’s motherfucking 2015, and we’re not there yet.

ITS SO PRETTYYYYYYYY

i demand that they be worn year round

i mean, of course your lady-brain thinks that

is it bad that i like the pink cleats

They’re going to make her coach in a fully pink, officially licensed Susan G Komen jumpsuit.

It’s the Arizona Cardinals , she’s still not a coach on a football team.

Your friend sucks.

The Jews, Blacks, and Arabs, however...

So nice of her to take a break from her regular schedule of being a vile racist to do something about cats.

Really? Not even slightly true? You’re telling me that you can’t use a person’s behavior in the past as a predictor of future behavior?