Mea culpa; I’m filled with existential rage because I’m involuntarily celibate.

And you were a disappointment to your Dad.

No one can understand because you write like an eighth-grader, but not one of the smart ones. Grammar is your friend, dummy.

If you were a man maybe we’d give shit.

Nah, I’m just playing y’all. I know the struggle is real; I have man-boobs.

LOL @ my own latent homosexuality!

I’ll tell you what happens when someone quits cold turkey: they go on a petulant, racist series of tirades which is really just a pathetic lashing out rooted in exceptionalism, sexual frustration, and deep-seated fear of their own social impotence. Ask me how I know *winkie face*.

You know what? I apologize. I’m just a sad sack of shit who has everything handed to me in life and I never learned to appreciate my station. I don’t know why I lash out like this, and I certainly understand that it is inappropriate to wield my sexual frustration as a cudgel. More so as I know deep down inside…

I apologize for my earlier outbursts. The reality of the situation is that deep down inside I hate myself. I also know it’s not right to call my personal situation “Involuntary Celibacy” when it’s painfully clear that I’m the problem.