He should just start his own writer's club, with blackjack and hookers.

Not a surprise, but it kinda proves LeBatard's point that those in the BBWAA have a "holier than thou" attitude.

Way to not look petty and childish, BBWAA. Will they block out old photos of him that they have, too, the way sororities do with past members?

Ah, what the hell, one more.

My Maggie loves the snow!

Stop, my cat is working on a dissertation on the best ways to claw up a couch. And just be the cutest animal ever.

Boooooooooooooo!

who have to drive 10 miles just to get groceries

I feel sorry for you poor city dwellers who have to settle for hooning in parking lots because you have no proper back roads... just sad

Killa women of Maturity!?!?!?!?! I LOVE THIS. I have been wanting to start a lady biker gang for a while but I was searching for the right "feel" or "culture" for the group. Killa Women of Maturity embodies everything I am looking for.

Anyone rec'ing your post is a moron, as are you. She called the police two hours after her assault.

From Steven Wright:

My facebook has never had my actual name, or any other identifying information on it. I never had an interest in twitter, so that's safe. Tumblr however would probably have me committed.

Cats are basically exactly like Miley Cyrus. Can't be tamed, are known to stick their tongues out for long periods of time after a certain age, and don't stop bringing gross stuff* into our houses.

I don't understand. Put the cat down? Unless you suddenly caught fire why would you put the cat down? It's your duty, privilege and honor to pet the cat. Putting a cat down is like hanging up on the president when he calls to tell you he loves you and wants to be your best friend and return all your tax money.

I have one of these in my intake, called the "Vornado", you wouldn't believe the fuel savings I got from it! Especially when paired with the "voltage conditioner" I have plugged into the cigarette lighter, to clean the electricity for cleaner firing efficiency. I can't wait to buy one!