I used to tie a Tamagotchi to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to buy a Tamagotchi cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of Bill Clinton on ‘em. “Gimme five Slick Willie’s for a quarter”, you’d say.

When I was in NOLA, my friend and I were walking down the street discussing what our itinerary was, when this mustachioed gentleman came out of a bar (or possible straight out of the 1890s) and basically told us everything we should do in the city. One of the things he recommended was going to Allways Lounge for free…

Sequels are never as good.

Meanwhile in America, 70 years old wannabe-King/despot pretends to know how to drive a big rig in front of as many cameras as possible.

One, the rules are primarily in place to prevent terrorists from using assumed identities. Two, since his 18-year-old son did not check-in, he was a “no-show” and essentially relinquished his “paid-for” seat. Three, this was apparently a sold-out flight, and some adult had paid for and expecting to use that seat. …

Hot take Boris. Don’t forget to kill moose and squirrel!

We all want to see a jacked up cheetah.

according to sean spicer, rex only visits russia when he needs help putin on his necktie:

lol communication.

Ben Stein: Ok class let’s reveal who we voted for. Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Kids these days are so soft. Back in my day, you weren’t done in Oregon until you died of dysentery.

That’s my kinja strategy. Just make confusingly bad comments and hope it leads to people giving me stars to act like they got the “joke”.

He was only off by two feet.

I for one support sending Trump to the moon.

He swinga di golf club, fantastico health, beepy di boopy di babay di!

My unscientific study says people who have never eaten prosciutto are boring uncultured savages. Even my dog knows the good stuff and can smell it the moment I bring home a package from Costco.

Asshole didn’t replace his divot.

I know this will never make it out of the greys, but the Civitas Institute is way more than just a “conservative group.” Besides being the main think tank behind most of the abhorrent legislation in NC, they also like to harass academics/others who question the republican party in North Carolina. They’re absolutely…